LETTERS

TO

SEVERAL LADIES*.

LETTER I

I

MADAM,

March 1, 1705.

Send you the book of rudiments of Drawing, which you were pleas'd to command, and think myfelf obliged to inform you at the fame time of one of the many excellencies you poffefs without knowing of them. You are but too good a Painter already; and no picture of Raphael's was ever fo beautiful, as that which you have form'd in a certain heart of my acquaintance. Indeed it was but juft that the finest lines in nature should be drawn upon the moft durable ground, and none could ever. be met with, that would fo readily receive, or fo faithfully retain them, as this Heart. I may boldly fay of it, that you will not find its fellow in all the parts of the body in this book. But I must com

*Most of these were printed without the Author's Confent, and no doubt are the fame upon which the cenfure is paffed in the Preface. That they have too much "of a juvenile ambition of Wit, and affectation of Gaiety." And it is pleaded in Excufe," that they were written very young, and the folly, was gon " over."

15

P.

plain to you of my hand, which is an arrant traitor to my heart; for having been copying your picture from thence and from Kneller these three days, it has done all poffible injury to the finest face that ever was made, and to the livelieft image that everwas drawn. I have Imagination enough in your abfence, to trace fome refemblance of you; but I have been fo long us'd to lofe my Judgment at the fight of you, that 'tis paft my power to correct it by the life. Your picture feems leaft like when placed before your eyes; and, contrary to all other pictures, receives a manifeft difadvantage by being fet in the fairest light in the world. The Painters are a very vain generation, and have a long time pretended to rival nature; but to own the truth to you, the made fuch a finish'd piece about three and twenty years ago (I beg your pardon, Madam; I proteft, I meant but two and twenty) that 'tis in vain for them any longer to contend with her. I know you indeed made one fomething like it, betwixt five and fix years paft: "Twas a little girl, done with abundance of fpirit and life, and wants nothing but time to be an admirable piece: but, not to flatter your work, I don't think 'twill ever come up to what your father made. However I would not difcourage you; 'tis certain you have a strange happiness, in making fine things of a fudden and at a ftroke, with incredible ease and pleasure.

LETTER II.

I am, &c.

This too much a rule in this town, that when a lady has once done a man a favour, he is to be rude to her ever after. It becomes our fex to take upon us twice as much as yours allow us; by this method I may write to you most impudently, be

caufe

caufe you once answer'd me modeftly; and if you fhould never do me that honour for the future, I am to think (like a true coxcomb) that your filence gives confent. Perhaps you wonder why this is addrefs'd to you rather than to Mrs. M-, with whom I have the right of an old acquaintance, whereas you are a fine lady, have bright eyes, &c. First, Madam, I make choice of you rather than of your mother, because you are younger than your mother. Secondly, becaufe I fancy you fpell better, as having been at school later. Thirdly, because you have nothing to do but to write if you please, and poffibly it may keep you from employing yourself worse: it may fave fome honeft neighbouring gentleman from three or four of your peftilent glances. Caft your eyes upon paper, Madam, there you may look innocently men are feducing, books are dangerous, the amorous ones foften you, and the godly ones give you the spleen: If you look upon trees, they clafp in embraces; birds and beafts make love; the fun is too warm for your blood; the moon melts you into yielding and melancholy. Therefore I fay once more, caft your eyes upon paper, and read only fuch letters as I write, which convey no darts, no flames, but proceed from innocence of soul, and fimplicity of heart. Thank God I am an hundred miles off from thofe eyes! I would fooner truft your hand than them for doing me mischief; and tho' I doubt not fome part of the rancour and iniquity of your heart will drop into your pen, yet fince it will not attack me on a fudden and unprepar'd, fince I may have time while I break open your letter to crofs myself and say a Pater-nofter, I hope Providence will protect me from all you can attempt at this distance. I am told you are at this hour as handfome as an angel; for my part I have forgot your face fince two winters. You may be grown to a giantess for all I know. I can't tell in any respect VOL. VII.

what

what fort of creature you are, only that you are a very mifchievous one, whom I fhall ever pray to be defended from. But when your Minifter fends me word you have the fmall-pox, a good many freckles, or are very pale, I will defire him to give thanks for it in your parish church; which as foon as he fhall inform me he has done, I will make you a vifit without armour : I will eat any thing you give me without fufpicion of poison, take you by the hand without gloves, nay venture to follow you into an arbour without calling the company. This, Madam, is the top of my wishes, but how differently are our defires inclin'd! You figh out, in the ardour of your heart, Oh play-houses, parks, operas, affemblies, London! I cry with rapture, Oh woods, gardens, rookeries, fish-ponds, arbours! Mrs. M.

LETTER III.

To a LAD Y.

Written on one column of a Letter, while Lady M. wrote to the Lady's Husband on the other.

THE

HE wits would fay, that this must needs be a dull letter because it is a married one. I am afraid indeed you will find, what spirit there is, must be on the fide of the wife, and the hufband's part, as ufual, will prove the dulleft. What an unequal pair are put together in this fheet? in which, tho' we fin, it is you must do penance. When you look on both fides of this paper, you may fancy that our words (according to a Scripture expreffion) are as a two-edg'd fword, whereof lady M. is the fhining blade, and I only the handle. But I can't proceed without fo far mortifying Sir Robert as to tell him, that the writes this purely in obedience to me, and

that

that it is but one of those honours a husband receives for the fake of his wife.

It is making court but ill to one fine woman to fhew her the regard we have for another; and yet I muft own there is not a period of this epiftle but fquints towards another over-against it. It will be in vain to diffemble: your penetrating eyes cannot but difcover, how all the letters that compose these words lean forward after lady M's. letters, which feem to bend as much from mine, and fly from them as fast as they are able. Ungrateful letters that they are! which give themselves to another man, in the very prefence of him who will yield to no mortal, in knowing how to value them.

You will think I forget myself, and am not writing to you; but, let me tell you, 'tis you forget yourfelf in that thought, for you are almoft the only woman to whom one can fafely address the praises of another. Befides, can you imagine a man of my importance fo ftupid, as to fay fine things to you before your husband? Let us fee how far Lady M. herself dares do any thing like it, with all the wit and address she is mistress of. If Sir Robert can be fo ignorant (now he is left to himself in the country) to imagine any fuch matter, let him know from me, that here in town every thing that lady says, is taken for fatire. For my part, every body knows it my conftant practice to speak truth, and I never do it more than when I call myself

is

Your, &c.

LETTER IV.

OU have put me into fo much gaiety of tem

YOU per, that there will not be a serious word in

this day's letter. No more, you'll fay, there would, if I told you the whole serious bufinefs of the town.

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