Thou child in thrift, thou fool of honesty,
Is't a disparagement for gentlemen,
For friends of lower rank, to do the offices
Of necessary kindness, without fee,
For one another, courtesies of course,
Mirths of society; when petty mushrooms,
Transplanted from their dunghills, spread on moun-
And pass for cedars by their servile flatteries [tains,
On great men's vices? Pandar! thou'rt deceived,
The word includes preferment; 'tis a title
Of dignity; I could add somewhat more else.
Liv. Add anything of reason.

Troy. Castamela,

Thy beauteous sister, like a precious tissue,
Not shaped into a garment fit for wearing,
Wants the adornments of the workman's cunning
To set the richness of the piece at view,

Though in herself all wonder. Come, I'll tell thee:
A way there may be-(know, I love thee, Livio-)
To fix this jewel in a ring of gold,

Yet lodge it in a cabinet of ivory,

White, pure, unspotted ivory: put case, Livio himself shall keep the key on't?

Liv. Oh, sir,

Create me what you please of yours; do this, You are another nature.

Troy. Be then pliable

To my first rules of your advancement.-[Enter
OCTAVIO.]-See!

Octavio, my good uncle, the great marquis
Of our Sienna, comes, as we could wish,
In private.-Noble sir!

Oct. My bosom's secretary,
My dearest, best loved nephew.
Troy. We have been thirsty

In our pursuit.-Sir, here's a gentleman
Desertful of your knowledge, and as covetous
Of entertainment from it: you shall honour
Your judgment, to entrust him to your favours;
His merits will commend it.

Spa. Oyes! if any man, woman, or beast, have found, stolen, or taken up a fine, very fine male barber, of the age of above or under eighteen, more or less

Sec. Spadone, hold; what's the noise?

Spa. Umph! pay the crier. I have been almost lost myself in seeking you; here's a letter fromSec. Whom, whom, my dear Spadone? whom? Spa. Soft and fair! an you be so brief, I'll return it whence it came, or look out a new owner. -Oyes!

Sec. Low, low! what dost mean? is't from the glory of beauty, Morosa, the fairest fair? be gentle to me; here's a ducat: speak low, prithee.

Spa. Give me one, and take t'other: 'tis from the party. (Gives him the letter.)-Golden news, believe it.

Sec. Honest Spadone! divine Morosa! [Reads. Spa. Fairest fair, quoth'a! so is an old rotten coddled mungrel, parcel bawd, parcel midwife; all the marks are quite out of her mouth; not the stump of a tooth left in her head, to mumble the curd of a posset.-[Aside.] Signor, 'tis as I told you; all's right.

Sec. Right, just as thou told'st me; all's right.
Spa. To a very hair, signor mio.

Sec. For which, sirrah Spadone, I will make thee a man; a man, dost hear? I say, a man.

Spa. Thou art a prick-ear'd foist, a citternheaded gew-gaw, a knack, a snipper-snapper. Twit me with the decrements of my pendants! though I am made a gelding, and, like a tame buck, have lost my dowsets,- -more a monster than a cuckold with his horns seen,-yet I scorn to be jeered by any checker-approved barbarian of ye all. Make me a man! I defy thee.

Sec. How now, fellow, how now! roaring ripe indeed!

Spa. Indeed? thou'rt worse: a dry shaver, a copper-bason'd suds-monger.

Sec. Nay, nay; by my mistress' fair eyes, I meant no such thing.

Spa. Eyes in thy belly! the reverend madam shall know how I have been used. I will blow my nose in thy casting-bottle, break the teeth of

thy combs, poison thy camphire-balls, slice out thy towels with thine own razor, be-tallow thy tweezes, and urine in thy bason :-make me a

man!

Sec. Hold! take another ducat. As I love new clothes

Spa. Or cast old ones.

Sec. Yes, or cast old ones-I intended no injury.

Spa. Good, we are pieced again: reputation, signor, is precious.

Sec. I know it is.

Spa. Old sores would not be rubbed.
Sec. For me, never.

Spa. The lady guardianess, the mother of the FANCIES, is resolved to draw with you in the wholesome [yoke] of matrimony, suddenly.

Sec. She writes as much: and, Spadone, when we are married

Spa. You will to bed no doubt.

Sec. We will revel in such variety of delights,-
Spa. Do miracles, and get babies.
Sec. Live so sumptuously,-
Spa. In feather and old furs.
Sec. Feed so deliciously,-
Spa. On pap and bull-beef.

Sec. Enjoy the sweetness of our years,-
Spa. Eighteen and threescore with advantage!
Sec. Tumble and wallow in abundance,-
Spa. The pure crystal puddle of pleasures.
Sec. That all the world shall wonder.
Spa. A pox on them that envy you!
Sec. How do the beauties, my dainty knave?
live, wish, think, and dream, sirrah, ha!

Spa. Fumble, one with another, on the gambos of imagination between their legs; eat they do, and sleep, game, laugh, and lie down, as beauties ought to do; there's all.

Sec. Commend me to my choicest, and tell her, the minute of her appointment shall be waited on; say to her, she shall find me a man at all points.

Enter NITIDO.

Spa. Why, there's another quarrel, — man, once more, in spite of my nose,

Nit. Away, Secco, away! my lord calls, he has a loose hair started from his fellows; a clip of your art is commanded.

Sec, I fly, Nitido; Spadone, remember me.

[Exit.

Nit. Trudging between an old mule, and a young calf, my nimble intelligencer? What! thou fatten'st apace on capon still?

Spa. Yes, crimp; 'tis a gallant life to be an old lord's pimp-whiskin but, beware of the porter's lodge, for carrying tales out of the school.

Nit. What a terrible sight to a libb'd breech is a sow-gelder!

Spa. Not so terrible as a cross-tree that never grows, to a wag-halter page.

Nit. Good! witty rascal, thou'rt a Satire, I protest, but that the nymphs need not fear the evidence of thy mortality :-go, put on a clean bib, and spin amongst the nuns, sing 'em a bawdy song: all the children thou gett'st, shall be christened in wasselbowls, and turned into a college of men-midwives. Farewell, night-mare!

Spa. Very, very well; if I die in thy debt for this, crack-rope, let me be buried in a coal-sack. I'll fit ye, ape's-face! look for't.

Enter ROMANELLO and CASTAMELA.

Rom. Tell me you cannot love me.
Cast. You impórtune

Too strict a resolution: as a gentleman
Of commendable parts, and fair deserts,
In every sweet condition that becomes
A hopeful expectation, I do honour

Th' example of your youth; but, sir, our fortunes,
Concluded on both sides in narrow bands,
Move you to construe gently my forbearance,
In argument of fit consideration.

Rom. Why, Castamela, I have shaped thy virtues,
Even from our childish years, into a dowry
Of richer estimation, than thy portion,
Doubled an hundred times, can equal: now
I clearly find, thy current of affection
Labours to fall into the gulf of riot,
Not the free ocean of a soft content.
You'd marry pomp and plenty: 'tis the idol,
I must confess, that creatures of the time
Bend their devotions to; but I have fashion'd
Thoughts much more excellent of you.
Cast. Enjoy

Your own prosperity; I am resolv'd
Never, by any charge with me, to force
A poverty upon you, want of love.

'Tis rarely cherish'd with the love of want.
I'll not be your undoing.

Rom. Sure some dotage

Of living stately, richly, lends a cunning
To eloquence. How is this piece of goodness
Changed to ambition! oh, you are most miserable
In your desires! the female curse has caught you.
Cast. Fie! fie! how ill this suits!

Rom. A devil of pride

Ranges in airy thoughts to catch a star,
Whilst you grasp mole-hills.

Cast. Worse and worse, I vow.

Rom. But that some remnant of an honest sense Ebbs a full tide of blood to shame, all women Would prostitute all honour to the luxury Of ease and titles.

Cast. Romanello, know

You have forgot the nobleness of truth,
And fix'd on scandal now.

Rom. A dog, a parrot,

A monkey, a caroch, a garded lackey,
A waiting-woman with her lips seal'd up,

Are pretty toys to please my mistress Wanton !
So is a fiddle too; 'twill make it dance,

Or else be sick and whine.

Cast. This is uncivil;

I am not, sir, your charge.
Rom. My grief you are ;

For all my services are lost and ruin'd.

Cast. So is my chief opinion of your worthiness, When such distractions tempt you; you would

You have no right in me; let this suffice; I wish your joys much comfort.

Enter Livio, richly habited.

Liv. Sister! look ye,

How by a new creation of my tailor's, I've shook off old mortality; the rags

Of home-spun gentry-prithee, sister, mark it—
Are cast by, and I now appear in fashion
Unto men, and received.-Observe me, sister,
The consequence concerns you.

Cast. True, good brother,

For my well-doing must consist in yours.

Liv. Here's Romanello, a fine temper'd gallant, Of decent carriage, of indifferent means, Considering that his sister, new hoist up, From a lost merchant's warehouse, to the titles Of a great lord's bed, may supply his wants;— Not sunk in his acquaintance, for a scholar Able enough, and one who may subsist Without the help of friends, provided always, He fly not upon wedlock without certainty Of an advancement; else a bachelor May thrive by observation, on a little. A single life's no burden; but to draw In yokes is chargeable, and will require A double maintenance: why, I can live Without a wife, and purchase.

Rom. Is't a mystery,

You've lately found out, Livio, or a cunning Conceal'd till now, for wonder?

Liv. Pish! believe it,

Endeavours and an active brain are better

Than patrimonies left by parents.→ Prove it.One thrives by cheating; shallow fools and un

thrifts

Are game knaves only fly at: then a fellow
Presumes on his hair, and that his back can toil
For fodder from the city;-lies: another,
Reputed valiant, lives by the sword, and takes up
Quarrels, or braves them, as the novice likes,
To gild his reputation ;—most improbable.
A world of desperate undertakings, possibly,
Procures some hungry meals, some tavern surfeits,
Some frippery to hide nakedness; perhaps
The scambling half a ducat now and then
To roar and noise it with the tattling hostess,
For a week's lodging; these are pretty shifts,
Souls bankrupt of their royalty submit to!
Give me a man, whose practice and experience,
Conceives not barely the philosopher's stone,
But indeed has it; one whose wit's his Indies:
The poor is most ridiculous.

Rom. You are pleasant

In new discoveries of fortune; use them
With moderation, Livio.

Cast. Such wild language

Was wont to be a stranger to your custom ;
However, brother, you are pleased to vent it,
I hope, for recreation.

Liv. Name and honour

What are they? a mere sound without support

ance,

A begging-Chastity, youth, beauty, handsome

ness,

Discourse, behaviour which might charm attention,
And curse the gazer's eyes into amazement,
Are nature's common bounties; so are diamonds
Uncut, so flowers unworn, so silk-worms' webs
Unwrought, gold unrefined; then all those glories