CXLIV. PRINCE HENRY AND FALSTAFF.

FROM SHAKSPEARE.

PRINCE HENRY and POINS, in a back room, in a tavern. Enter FALSTAFF, Gadshill, BARDOLPH, and PETO.

Poins.

Welcome, Jack. Where hast thou been? Falstaff. A plague of all cowards, I say, and a vengeance too! marry, and amen! Give me a cup of sack, boy. Ere I lead this life long, I'll sew nether stocks, and mend them, and foot them, too. A plague of all cowards! Give me a cup of sack, rogue. Is there no virtue textant? [He drinks, and then continues.] You rogue, here's lime in this sack: there is nothing but roguery to be found in villainous man: yet a coward is worse than a cup of sack with lime in it. A villainous coward! Go thy ways, old Jack; die when thou wilt: if manhood, good manhood, be not forgot upon the face of the earth, then am I a shotten herring. There live not three good men unhanged, in England; and one of them is fat and grows old; a bad world, I say! I would I were a weaver; I could sing psalms, or any thing. A plague of all cowards, I say still.

Prince Henry. How now, *wool-sack? What mutter you? Fal. Thou art a king's son! Now, if I do not beat thee out of thy kingdom with a dagger of lath, and drive all thy subjects afore thee like a flock of wild geese, I'll never wear hair on my face more. You, Prince of Wales!

P. Henry. Why, you base-born dog! What's the matter? Fal. Are you not a coward? Answer me to that; and Poins there?

[thee.

Poins. Ye fat braggart, an ye call me coward, I'll stab Fal. I call thee coward? I'll see thee *gibbeted, ere I call thee coward: but I would give a thousand pounds I could run as fast as thou canst. You are straight enough in the shoulders, you care not who sees your back: call you that backing of your friends? A plague upon such backing! Give me them that will face me. Give me a cup of sack. I am a rogue, if I have drunk to-day.

P. Henry. O villain! thy lips are scarce wiped, since thou drank'st last.

Fal. All's one for that. A plague of all cowards, still Say I.

P. Henry. What's the matter?

[He drinks.

Fal. What's the matter! There be four of us here have ta'en a thousand pounds this morning.

P. Henry. Where is it, Jack? where is it?

Fal. Where is it? Taken from us it is; a hundred upon poor four of us.

P. Henry. What! a hundred, man?

Fal. I am a rogue, if I were not at half-sword with a dozen of them, for two hours together. I have 'scaped by miracle. I am eight times thrust through the doublet; four, through the hose; my buckler cut through and through; my sword hacked like a hand-saw; look here! [shows his sword.] I never dealt better since I was a man; all would not do. A plague of all cowards! Let them speak; [pointing to GADSHILL, BARDOLPH, and PETO,] if they speak more or less than truth, they are villains and the sons of darkness.

P. Henry. Speak, sirs; how was it?

Gadshill. We four, set upon some dozen-
Fal. Sixteen, at least, my lord.

Gad. And bound them.

Peto. No, no, they were not bound.

Fal. You rogue, they were bound, every man of them; or I am a Jew, else-an Ebrew Jew.

[upon us

Gad. As we were sharing, some six or seven fresh men set Fal. And unbound the rest; and then come in the other. P. Henry. What! fought ye with them all?

Fal. All? I know not what ye call all; but if I fought not with fifty of them, I am a bunch of radish: if there were not two or three and fifty upon poor old Jack, then I am no two-legged creature.

Poins. Pray heaven, you have not murdered some of them. Fal. Nay, that's past praying for; for I have *peppered two of them; two I am sure I have paid; two rogues in †buckram suits. I tell thee what, Hal, if I tell thee a lie, spit in my face, and call me a horse. Thou knowest my old ward; [He draws his sword, and stands as if about to fight,] here I lay, and thus I bore my point. Four rogues in buckram let drive at me—

P. Henry. What! four? Thou saidst but two even now. Fal. Four, Hal; I told thee four.

Poins. Ay, ay, he said four.

Fal. These four came all afront, and mainly thrust at me. I made no more ado, but took all their seven points on my *target, thus.

P. Henry. Seven? Why, there were but four, even now.

Fal. In buckram?

Poins. Ay, four, in buckram suits.

Fal. Seven, by these hilts, or I am a villain else.

P. Henry. Prithee, let him alone; we shall have more tanon.

Fal. Dost thou hear me, Hal?

P. Henry. Ay, and mark thee, too, Jack.

Fal. Do so, for it is worth the listening to. These nine men in buckram, that I told thee of—

P. Henry. So, two more already.

Fal. Their points being broken, began to give me ground; but I followed me close, came in foot and hand; and, with a thought, seven of the eleven I paid.

P. Henry. O, monstrous! eleven buckram men grown out of two!

Fal. But three knaves, in Kendal green, came at my back, and let drive at me; for it was so dark, Hal, that thou couldst not see thy hand.

P. Henry. These lies are like the father of them; gross as a mountain, open, *palpable. Why, thou clay-brained, knotty-pated fool; thou greasy tallow-keech

Fal. What! Art thou mad? Art thou mad? Is not the truth the truth?

P. Henry. Why, how couldst thou know these men in Kendal green, when it was so dark thou couldst not see thy hand? Come, tell us your reason; what sayest thou to this? Poins. Come, your reason, Jack, your reason.

Fal. What, upon compulsion? No, were I at the strappado, or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on *compulsion. Give you a reason on compulsion! If reasons were as plentiful as blackberries, I would give no man a reason on compulsion.

P. Henry. I'll no longer be guilty of this sin: this *san

guine coward, this horse-back-breaker, this huge hill of flesh

Fal. Away! you *starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you stock-fish! O for breath to utter what is like thee-you tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case,

you

P. Henry. Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again; and when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons, hear me speak but this.

Poins. Mark, Jack.

P. Henry. We two saw you four set on four; you bound them, and were masters of their wealth. Mark now, how plain a tale shall put you down. Then did we two, set on you four; and with a word, outfaced you from your prize, and have it; yea, and can show it to you, here in the house: and, Falstaff, you carried yourself away as nimbly, with as quick +dexterity, and roared for mercy, and still ran and roared, as ever I heard a calf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou hast done, and then say it was in fight! What trick, what device, what starting-hole, canst thou now find out to hide thee from this open and apparent shame?

Poins. Come, let's hear, Jack. What trick hast thou now?

Fal. Why, I knew ye as well as he that made ye. Why, hear ye, my masters: was it for me to kill the their-apparent? Should I turn upon the true prince? Why, thou knowest I am as valiant as Hercules; but beware instinct; the lion will not touch the true prince; instinct is a great matter; I was a coward on instinct. I shall think the better of myself

and thee during my life; I for a valiant lion, and thou for a true prince. But, lads, I am glad you have the money. Hostess, clap to the doors. Watch to-night, pray to-morrow. Gallants, lads, boys, hearts of gold; all the titles of good-fellowship come to you! What shall we be merry? Shall we have a play textempore?

P. Henry. Content; and the argument shall be thy runping away.

Fal. Ah! no more of that, Hal, an thou lovest me.

CXLV. THE QUARREL OF BRUTUS AND CASSIUS.
FROM SHAKSPEARE.

Cassius. That you have wronged me doth appear in this:
You have condemned and noted Lucius Pella
For taking bribes here of the Sardians;
Wherein my letters, praying on his side,
Because I knew the man, were slighted off.

Brutus. You wronged yourself to write in such a case. Cas. In such a time as this, it is not meet

Bru.

That every nice offense should bear its comment.
Yet let me tell you, Cassius, you yourself
Are much condemned to have an itching palm,
To sell and *mart your offices for gold
To undeservers.

Cas. I an itching palm!

You know that you are Brutus that speak this,
Or, by the gods, this speech were else your last.

Bru. The name of Cassius honors this corruption,
And chastisement doth therefore hide its head.

Bru. Remember March, the Ides of March remember! Did not great Julius bleed for justice' sake? What villain touched his body, that did stab, And not for justice? What, shall one of us, That struck the foremost man in all this world But for supporting robbers; shall we now +Contaminate our fingers with base bribes, And sell the mighty space of our large honors, For so much trash as may be grasped thus? I had rather be a dog, and bay the moon, Than such a Roman.

Bru. I say you are not.

Cas. Urge me no more, I shall forget myself;

Have mind upon your health, tempt me no further,
Bru. Away, slight man!

Cas.

Is 't possible?