On a scold (from the French):

"Here lies my wife; and heaven knows,
Not less for mine than her repose."

Another (from the French):

"Here lies my wife,

A fact that must tell,

For her repose

And for mine as well."

"Here lies, thank God, a woman, who
Quarrell'd and storm'd her whole life through;
Tread gently o'er her mouldering form,
Or else you'll rouse another storm."

"Beneath lies my wife,
Whose death is my life."

In Horsleydown church, Cumberland :

"Here lie the bodies

Of THOMAS BOND, and MARY his wife.
She was temperate chaste, and charitable;

BUT,

she was proud, peevish, and passionate.

She was an affectionate wife, and a tender mother;

BUT,

her husband and child, whom she loved,

seldom saw her countenance without a disgusting frown, whilst she received visitors, whom she despised,

with an endearing smile.

Her behaviour was discreet towards strangers;

BUT,

imprudent in her family.

Abroad, her conduct was influenced by good breeding;

BUT,

at home, by ill temper.

She was a professed enemy to flattery, And was seldom known to praise or commend;

BUT,

The talents in which she principally
excelled,

were difference of opinion, and discover-
ing flaws and imperfections.

She was an admirable economist,
and without prodigality,

dispensed plenty to every person in her family;

BUT,

would sacrifice their eyes to a farthing candle. She sometimes made her husband happy with her good qualities;

BUT,

much more frequently miserable with
her many failings;

insomuch, that in thirty years cohabita-
tion, he often lamented,

that, maugre all her virtues,
he had not, in the whole, enjoyed two
years of matrimonial comfort.

AT LENGTH,

finding she had lost the affection of her husband, as well as the regard of her neighbours, family disputes having been divulged by servants, she died of vexation, July 20, 1768,

aged 48 years.

Her worn-out husband survived her four
months and two days,

and departed this life, Nov. 28th, 1768,
in the 54th year of his age.

William Bond, brother to the deceased,
erected this stone,

as a weekly monitor to the surviving
wives of this parish,

1

that they may avoid the infamy
of having their memories handed down to

posterity

with a patch-work character."

In South Petherwin churchyard, in Cornwall :

"Beneath this stone lies HUMPHREY and JOAN,
Who together rest in peace,
Living indeed

They disagreed,

But now all quarrels cease.”

"Here lies THOMAS-and his Wife

Who led a pretty jarring life,

But all is ended-do you see,

He holds his tongue-and so does she."

On a scold

"How apt are men to lye! how dare they say,
When life is gone, all learning fleets away y?
Since this glad grave holds CHLOE fair and young,
Who where she is, first learnt to hold her tongue.'

LOVING COUPLES.

At Dunstan, in Norfolk :

"Here lies a noble pair, who were in name,
In heart and mind and sentiments the same:
The arithmetic rule then can't be true,
For one and one did never here make two."

In Rotherham churchyard:

"We joined was in mutual love,

And so we did remain,

Till parted was by God above,
In hopes to meet again."

In Ashbourne church, Derbyshire, is the following inscription:

"To the Memory of Sir BROOK BOOTHBY, Bart. and Dame PHEBE his wife, he died 1789, and she 1788.

"Here, blameless pair, with mild affections blest,
Belov'd, respected, much lamented, rest.
Life's shelter'd vale secure in peace ye trod,
Your practice, virtue; your reliance, God.
Long days, long loves, indulgent Heaven bestow'd
And sweet content to gild your calm abode :
Friends, who through life their faith unalter'd kept;
Children, who lov'd, who honoured, and who wept.
Heroes, and kings, life's little pageant o'er,
Might wish their trophied marbles were no more.'

In Worlingworth churchyard, Suffolk :

"WILLIAM LING died Aug. 15th, 1827, aged 26 years. SARAH LING died May 22nd, 1828, aged 24 years.

If truth and innocence deserve a tear,
Stop, gentle passenger, and drop it here:

Here sweetly sleeps a pair snatch'd soon from life,
A pattern fair for man, for maid, for wife.

May weeping friends, that shall approach this grave Those virtues imitate-tears could not save."

In Wickham Market churchyard :

"JAMES CHURCHYARD died March 5, 1851, aged 60. SOPHIA CHURCHYARD, his wife, died June 27, 1851, aged 59.

In this cold bed, here consummated are,
The second nuptials of a happy pair,

Whom envious death once parted, but in vain,
For now himself hath made them one again
Here wedded in the grave; and 'tis but just

That they that were one flesh, should be one dust."

At Hackney, on a loving pair, named LOSTE; he died Nov., 1811, aged 85 years:—

"These were a pair too scarce in modern life—
A husband fond, an ever faithful wife :
Together four and fifty years they trod
The path of rectitude that leads to God;
Almost together down they sank to rest,
And rise to life immortal with the blest."

The following inscription is copied from a churchyard in Essex :

"Here lies the man RICHARD

And MARY his wife:

Their surname was PRITCHARD,
They liv'd without strife.