"The reason is," the workman said, I reckon the work would be as hard- MISS BUNKS. JOHN GEORGE WATTS.] Tune-" Villikins and his Dinah." ONCE at Hygate lived a fam❜ly, Tomas Brown 'ad bushee viskers, And a kipple o' karves hoose eakvals Slender 'ousemaids' eyes would glissen But this footman node his manners, Mister Bunks he 'ad a doorter, Not pertick'lar 'ansum she, One day Tomas Brown the footman, Vos it 'cos she feared a fall? How his buzzum flitter-fluttered, W'en he carried in the dinner, She was oppersite the door; And another look she guv him, Jest as she had dun afore. That there look it made him tremble And he stumbled, and he tumbled Missus Bunks, she did upbraid him ; The next afternoon, while guv❜ner The next mornin' Miss vos missen, That toogether they 'ad flew. At the noose her mother fainted, 'Ardly 'ad the moon commenced Brown," ses she, "you look so funny. Grashus 'evins! vears your viskers ?" Brown's hand felt upon his cheek— "Vear, O tell me, vear's your karves run ?" Brown, he not a vurd kood speak. Fatal herror! He 'ad taken MORAL. : Ladies, listen to my moral :- And he to your hand haspires. THE EARLY CLOSING MOVEMENT. [Tune-"Fanny Grey." JAMES B. TOMALIN.] Gent. "IF you're waking, don't disturb me; call me later, there's a dear; For though I can't account for it, I feel a little queer: To-morrow, you know, is Sunday, so I think at home I'll stay, Instead of going to church, and have a nice long quiet day. Lady. "If I'm waking !-precious chance of sleeping I shall get, What with tossing and with snoring! Don't tell me! I'm not your pet ; It's that good-for-nothing friend of yours who's welcome to the term: Ah, you may well look scared to find you've rcused the trodden worm !" Gent. "Well really, now, it's hard upon a fellow-just for what? I caught the last but one, and here's a wigging I have got ! It's the only day for comfort, and I'm sure we never wish For more than a plain joint, and, p'rhaps, a little bit of fish." Lady. "Plainer joints than I see daily I defy you, sir, to find, And a bit of fish in matting packed you never used to mind, When the 'five o'clock' you rarely missed on Satur day from town, And at six, or so, we constantly sat comfortably down." Gent. "At six, my treasure! Obsolete, unscientific hour, Quite exploded since the glorious recent Movement's moral power (Early closing, shutters hoisting, locking desks) has set us free For a healthy promenade, love, and a sober meal at three." Lady. "Promenade, love! gallivanting, you had better say at once; But be good enough to notice that I'm not quite such a dunce As not to know that four from ten are six, my lord; so pray What healthy pastime filled up the remainder of the day?" Gent. "Six hours, my little dar-well, Jemima, if preferred; But to reckon time in that way is so palpably absurd! Why, digestion and the topics of the current week require Two hours at least, and then a little chat before the fire Lady. "Before the fire! domestic scene! Behind the fire, you mean, Of your cigars, which cannot help revealing where you've been. |