His is ever ready to honor its virtues and defend its weakness; she may continue to incline towards him a willing ear. habits and his conduct must awaken her vigilant attention before it be too late. Should he come to visit her at irregular hours; should he exhibit a vague or wandering attentiongive proofs of a want of punctuality-show disrespect for age -sneer at things sacred, or absent himself from regular attendance at divine service-or evince an inclination to expensive pleasures beyond his means, or to low and vulgar amusements; should he be foppish, eccentric, or very slovenly in his dress; or display a frivolity of mind, and an absence of well-directed energy in his worldly pursuits; let the young lady, we say, while there is yet time, eschew that gentleman's acquaintance, and allow it gently to drop. The effort, at whatever cost to her feelings, must be made, if she have any regard for her future happiness and self-respect. The proper course then to take is to intimate her distate, and the causes that have given rise to it, to her parents or guardian, who will be pretty sure to sympathize with her, and to take measures for facilitating the retirement of the gentleman from his pretensions. WHAT THE GENTLEMAN SHOULD OBSERVE DURING COURTSHIP. It would be well also for the suitor, on his part, during the first few weeks of courtship, carefully to observe the conduct of the young lady in her own family, and the degree of estimation in which she is held by them, as well as among her intimate friends. If she be attentive to her duties, respectful and affectionate to her parents; kind and forbearing to her brothers and sisters; not easily ruffled in temper, if her mind be prone to cheerfulness and to hopeful aspiration, instead of to the display of a morbid anxiety and dread of coming evil; if her pleasures and enjoyments be those which chiefly center in home; if her words be characterized by benevolence, goodwill, and charity: then we say, let him not hesitate, but hasten to enshrine so precious a gem in the casket of his affections. But if, on the other hand, he should find that he has been attracted by the tricksome affectation and heartless allurements of a flirt, ready to bestow smiles on all, but with a heart for none, if she who has succeeded for a time in fascinating him be of uneven temper, easily provoked, and slow to be appeased; fond of showy dress, and eager for admiration; ecstatic about trifles, frivolous in her tastes, and weak and wavering in performing her duties; if her religious ob..vances are merely the formality of lip-service; if she be petulant to her friends, pert and disrespectful to her parents, overbearing to her inferiors; if pride, vanity, and affectation be her characteristics; if she be inconstant in her friendships; gaudy and slovenly, rather than neat and scrupulously clean, in attire and personal habits, then we counsel the gentleman to retire as speedily, but as politely, as possible from the pursuit of an object unworthy of his admiration and love; nor dread that the lady's friends-who must know her better than he can do-will call him to account for withdrawing from the field. But we will take it for granted that all goes on well; that the parties are, on sufficient acquaintance, pleased with each other, and that the gentleman is eager to prove the sincerity of his affectionate regard by giving some substantial token of his love and homage to the fair one. This brings us to the question of PRESENTS, a point on which certain observances of etiquette must not be disregarded. A lady, for instance, cannot with propriety accept presents from a gentleman previously to his having made proposals of marriage. She would by so doing incur an obligation at once embarrassing and unbecoming. Should, how ever, the gentleman insist on making her a present-as of some trifling object of jewelry, etc.-there must be no secret about it. Let the young lady take an early opportunity of saying to her admirer, in the presence of her father or mother, "I am much obliged to you for that ring (or other trinket, as the case may be) which you kindly offered me the other day, and which I shall be most happy to accept, if my parents do not object ;" and let her say this in a manner which, while it increases the obligation, will divest it altogether of impropriety, from having been conferred under the sanction of her parents. We have now reached that stage in the progress of the Courtship, where budding affection, having developed into mature growth, encourages the lover to make THE PROPOSAL. When about to take this step, the suitor's first difficulty is how to get a favorable opportunity; and next, having got the chance, how to screw his courage up to give utterance to the "declaration." A declaration in writing should certainly be avoided where the lover can by any possibility get at the lady's ear. But there are cases where this is so difficult that an impatient lover cannot be restrained from adopting the agency of a billet-doux in declaring his passion. The lady, before proposal, is generally prepared for it. It is seldom that such an avowal comes without some previous indications of look and manner on the part of the admirer which can hardly fail of being understood. She may not, indeed, consider herself engaged, and although nearly certain of the conquest she has made, may yet have her misgivings. Some gentlemen dread to ask, lest they should be refused. Many pause just at the point, and refrain from anything like ardor in their professions of attachment until they feel confi dent, that they may be spared the mortification and ridicule that is supposed to attach to being rejected, in addition to the pain of disappointed hope. This hesitation when the mind is made up is wrong; but it does often occur, and we suppose ever will do so, with persons of great timidity of character By it both parties are kept needlessly on the fret, until the long-looked-for opportunity unexpectedly arrives, when the flood-gaces of feeling are loosened, and the full tide of mutual affection gushes forth uncontrolled. It is, however, at this moment the agony-point to the embarrassed lover, who "doats yet doubts”—whose suppressed feelings rendered him morbidly sensitive-that a lady should be especially careful lest any show of either prudery or coquetry on her part should lose to her forever the object of her choice. True love is generally delicate and timid, and may easily be scared by a fected indifference, through feelings of wounded pride. A lover needs very little to assure him of the reciprocation of his attachment a glance, a single pressure of the hand, a whis. pered syllable, on the part of the loved one, will suffice to confirm his hopes, REFUSAL BY THE YOUNG LADY. When a lady rejects the proposal of a gentleman, her behavior should be characterized by the most delicate feeling toward sone who, in offering her his hand, has proved his desire to confer upon her, by this implied preference for her above all other women, the greatest honor it is in his power to offer. Therefore, if she have no love for him, she ought at least to evince a tender regard for his feelings; and in the event of her being previously engaged, should at once acquaint him with the fact. No right-minded man would desire to persist in a suit, when he well knew that the object of his admiration had already disposed of her heart. When a gentleman makes an offer of his hand by letter, the letter must be answered, and certainly not returned, should the answer be a refusal; unless, indeed, when from a previous repulse, or some other particular and special circumstance, such an offer may be regarded by the lady or her relatives as presumptuous and intrusive. Under such circumstances, the letter may be placed by the lady in the hands of her parents or guardian, to be dealt with by them as they may deem most advisable. No woman of proper feeling would regard her rejection of an offer of marriage from a worthy man as a matter of triumph; her feeling on such an occasion should be one of regretful sympathy with him for the pain she is unavoidably compelled to inflict. Nor should such a rejection be unaccompanied with some degree of self-examination on her part, to discern whether any lightness of demeanor or tendency to flirtation may have given rise to a false hope of her favoring his suit. At all events, no lady should ever treat the man who has so honored her with the slightest disrespect or frivolous disregard, nor ever unfeelingly parade a more favored suitor before one whom she has refused. CONDUCT OF THE GENTLEMAN WHEN HIS ADDRESSES ARE REJECTED. The conduct of the gentleman under such distressing circumstances should be characterized by extreme delicacy and a chivalrous resolve to avoid occasioning any possible annoyance or uneasiness to the fair author of his pain. If, however, he should have reason to suppose that his rejection has resulted from mere indifference to his suit, he need not altogether retire from the field, but may endeavor to kindle a feeling of regard and sympathy for the patient endurance of his disappointment, and for his continued but respectful endeavors to please the lukewarm fair one. But in case of avowed or evident preference for another, it becomes imperative upon him, as a gentleman, to withdraw at once, and so relieve the lady of any obstacle that his presence or pretensions may occasion, to the furtherance of her obvious wishes. A pertinacious continuance of his attentions, on the part of one who has been distinctly rejected, is an insult deserving of the severest repro. bation. Although the weakness of her sex, which ought to be her protection, frequently prevents a woman from forcibly breaking off an acquaintance thus annoyingly forced upon her, she rarely fails to resent such impertinence by that sharpest of woman's weapons, a keen-edged but courteous ridicule, which few men can bear up against. REFUSAL BY THE LADY'S PARENTS OR GUARDIANS. sent. It may happen that both the lady and her suitor are willing, but that the parents or guardians of the former, on being referred to, deem the connection unfitting, and refuse their con. In this state of matters, the first thing a man of sense, proper feeling, and candor should do, is to endeavor to learn the objections of the parents, to see whether they cannot be removed. If they are based on his present insufficiency of means, a lover of a persevering spirit may effect much in removing apprehension on that score, by cheerfully submitting to a reasonable time of probation, in the hope of amelio ration n. s worldly circumstances. Happiness delayed will be none the less precious when love has stood the test of constancy and the trial of time. Should the objection be founded on inequality of social position, the parties, if young may wait until matured age shall ripen their judgment and place the future more at their own disposal. A clandestine nr. riage should be peremptorily declined. In too many cases is a fraud committed by an elder and more experienced party upon one whose ignorance of the world's ways, and whose confiding tenderness appeal to him for protection even against himself. In nearly all the instances we have known of such marriages, the result proved the step to have been ill-judged, imprudent, and highly injurious to the reputation of one party, and in the long run detrimental to the happiness of both. CONDUCT OF THE ENGAGED COUPLE. The conduct of the bridegroom-elect should be marked by a gallant and affectionate assiduity towards his lady-love-a denouement easily felt and understood, but not so easy to define. That of the lady towards him should manifest delicacy, tenderness, and confidence: while looking for his thorough devotion to herself, she should not captiously take offense and show airs at his showing the same kind of attention to other ladies as she, in her turn, would not hesitate to receive from the other sex. In the behavior of a gentleman towards his betrothed in public, little difference should be perceptible from his demeanor to other ladies, except in those minute attentions which none but those who love can properly understand or appreciate. In private, the slightest approach to indecorous familiarity must be avoided; indeed it is pretty certain to be resented by every woman who deserves to be a bride. The lady's honor is now in her lover's hands, and he should never forget in his demeanor to and before her that that lady is to be his future wife. It is the privilege of the betrothed lover, as it is also his duty, to give advice to he fair one who now implicitly contiaes in him. Should he detect a fault, should he observe ailings which he would wish removed or amended, let him avail himself of this season, so favorable for the frank interchange of thought between the betrothed pair, to urge their correction. He will find a ready listener; and any judicious Counsel offered to her by him will now be gratefully received, and remembered in after life. After marriage it may be too late; for advice on trivial points of conduct may then not improbably be resented by the wife as an unnecessary interference; now, the fair and loving creature is disposed like pliant wax in his hands to mold herself to his reasonable wishes in all things. CONDUCT OF THE LADY DURING HER A lady is not expected to keep aloof from society on her engagement, nor to debar herself from the customary atten tions and courtesies of her male acquaintances generally; but she should, while accepting them cheerfully, maintain such a prudent reserve, as to intimate that they are viewed by her as mere acts of ordinary courtesy and friendship. In all places of public amusement-at balls, the opera, etc.—for a lady to be seen with any other cavalier than her avowed lover, in close attendance upon her, would expose her to the imputation of flirtation. She will naturally take pains at such a period to observe the taste of her lover in regard to her costume, and strive carefully to follow it, for all men desire to have their taste and wishes on such apparent trifles gratified. She should at the same time observe much delicacy in regard to dress, and be careful to avoid any unseemly display of her charms; lovers are naturally jealous of observation under such circumstances. It is a mistake not seldom made by women, to suppose their suitors will be pleased by the glowing admiration expressed by other men for the object of their passion. Most lovers, on the contrary, we believe, wonld prefer to withdraw their prize from general observation until the happy moment for their union has arrived. CONDUCT OF THE GENTLEMAN TOWARDS THE FAMILY OF HIS BETROTHED. The lover, having now secured his position, should use discretion and tact in his intercourse with the lady's family, and take care that his visits be not deemed too frequent-so as to be really inconvenient to them. He should accommodate himself as much as possible to their habits and ways, and be ever ready and attentive to consult their wishes. Marked attention, and in most cases affectionate kindness, to the lady's mother ought to be shown; such respectful homage will secure for him many advantages in his present position. He must not, however, presume to take his stand yet as a member of the family, nor exhibit an obtrusive familiarity in manner and conversation. Should a disruption of the engagement from some unexpected cause ensue, it is obvious that any such premature assumption would lead to very embarrassing results. In short, his conduct should be such as to win for himself the esteem and affection of all the family, and dis pose them ever to welcome and desire his presence, rather than regard him as an intruder. CONDUCT OF THE LADY ON RETIRING FROM HER ENGAGEMENT. Should this step unhappily be found necessary on the lady's part, the truth should be spoken, and the reasons frankly given; there must be no room left for the suspicion of its having originated in caprice or injustice. The case should be so put that the gentleman himself must see and acknowledge the justice of the painful decision arrived at. Incompatible habits, ungentlemanly actions, anything tending to diminish that respect for the lover which should be felt for the husband; inconstancy, ill-governed temper-all of which, not to mention other obvious objections-are to be considered as sufficient reasons for terminating an engagement. The communication should be made as tenderly as possible; room may be left in mere venial cases for reformation; but all that is done must be so managed that not the slightest shadow of fickleness or want of faith may rest upon the character of the lady. It must be remembered, however, that the termination of an engagement by a lady has the privilege of passing unchallenged; a lady not being bound to declare any other reason than her will. Nevertheless she owes it to her own reputation that her decision should rest on a sufficient foundation, and be unmistakeably pronounced. CONDUCT OF THE GENTLEMAN ON RE. TIRING FROM HIS ENGAGEMENT. We hardly know how to approach this portion of our sub. ject. The reasons must be strong indeed that can sufficiently justify a man, placed in the position of an accepted suitor, in severing the ties by which he has bound himself to a lady with the avowed intention of making her his wife. His reasons for breaking off his engagement must be such as will not merely satisfy his own conscience, but will justify him in the eyes of the world. If the fault be on the lady's side, great reserve and delicacy will be observed by any man of honor. If, on the other hand, the imperative force of circumstances, such as loss of fortune, or some other unexpected calamity to himself, may be the cause, then must the reason be clearly and fully explained, in such a manner as to soothe the painful feelings which such a result must necessarily occasion to the lady and her friends. It is scarcely necessary to point out the necessity for observing great caution in all that relates to the antecedents of an engagement that has been broken off; especially the return on either side of presents and of all letters that have passed. This last allusion brings us to the consideration of CORRESPONDENCE. Letter-writing is one great test of ability and cultivation, as respects both sexes. The imperfections of education may be to some extent concealed or glossed over in conversation, but cannot fail to stand out conspicuously in a letter. An illwritten letter infallibly betrays the vulgarity and ignorance indicative of a mean social position, |