URING times of health and happiness, it is per haps rather trying to be asked to turn our thoughts into doleful channels; but sooner or later in our lives the sad time comes, for "Who breathes must suffer, and who thinks must mourn," and we have perforce to turn our minds to the inevitable and share ❝ the common lot of man." In times of mourning it seems doubly hard to arouse ourselves, and allow the question of what to wear? to intrude itself. It is, however, necessary. Custom decrees, if even inclination does not prompt us, to show in some outward degree our respect for the dead by wearing the usual black.

We do not advise people to rush into black for every slight bereavement, nor, on the other hand, to show the utter disre. gard some do on the death of their relations, and only acknowledge the departure of those near and dear to them, by a band of crape round the arm. This is the mark of mourning adopted by those in the services who have to wear uniform, but hardly a fitting way of outwardly showing respect to the memory of those who have been called away from us, and whose loss we deplore. A short time since, a lady appeared in a new ruby satin dress, with a band of crape around her arm. The fact of the dress being new, showed that poverty did not cause this incongruity. It is hardly ever those who are styled "the poor," who err so against the accepted ideas of decency and respect. They always, however straitened they may be in circumstances, contrive to wear mourning for their deceased relatives. When black is fashionable, no difficulty is found in wearing it, and you meet all your friends attired, but when it becomes a question of duty, these objections are raised as to the unneces sary expense, and the inconvenience of so dressing. The majority adhere in this respect to the customs their parents have followed; but the advanced few are those who air such sentiments, talk of the "mourning of the heart, not mere outward

12

woe," and not wearing what is really mourning, go into society on the plea, "Oh! we know that those who are gone would not wish us to grieve for them." This may be all very well, but in the case of husbands, wives, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and the nearer-related cousins, decency

requires some outward mark of respect to their memory.

It will be as well to consider in succession the different de grees of mourning, and their duration.

The widow's is the deepest mourning of all. That oldfashioned material, bombazine, is now no longer heard of. Paramatta is in the most general use for widows. Barathea is also worn, but the first-named is the most frequently used for the first dresses; but, whatever the material, it is hidden by crape. The skirt, which is generally cut quite plain, and slightly trained, is completely covered with crape, put on quite plainly in one piece; the body and sleeves are also hidden with crape-the dress, in fact, presenting the appearance of one of crape. The body can be cut either en princesse, or have a deep jacket bodice; but whichever is preferred, crape should cover it completely.

The best and most economical crape for all wear is the rainproof crape, an improvement and development of the Albert crape, which is now brought to the greatest perfection of manufacture; it costs about half what ordinary crape does, to begin with, and is very much more durable; its impervious ness to weather being, of course, its great feature. The best make of this is quite suitable for widows' mourning. Its ap pearance equals that of much more expensive ordinary crape. We see no reason ourselves why, especially if economy be an object, the rainproof crape should not be worn for all degrees of mourning. We have no hesitation in advising it. For a second dress it would be a good plan to have some half-worn black dress entirely covered with crape-the rainproof crape

this would save the better dress a little; and as widows' first mourning is worn for a year and a day, it would be advisable to start with at least two dresses; the crape on them could be renewed when necessary.

Widows' mantles are either made of silk or Paramatta, trimmed deeply with crape, or sometimes of Cyprus crape cloth, or cloth crape trimmed. The Cyprus crape cloth is a sort of crêpe material, and wears well, neither dust nor wet affecting it. In shape, the widow's mantle is a dolman, or long cape of good size; this for elderly widows. For those younger, jackets or paletôts, crape-trimmed of course, are worn for winter wear, and for summer mantles made entirely of crape. The bonnet for first mourning is all of crape, with widow's cap tacked inside it, the small, close-fitting shape, with long crape veil hanging at the back; besides this veil, a shorter one is worn over the face. Hats cannot be worn by widows, however young they might be, during the period of their deepest mourning.

The following list would be ample for a widow's outfit. We have given rather a large one because, of course, it can be curtailed as wished.

One best dress of Paramatta covered entirely with crape. One dress, either a costume of Cyprus crape, or an old black dress covered with rainproof crape.

One Paramatta mantle lined with silk and deeply trimmed with crape.

One warmer jacket of cloth lined, trimmed with crape. One bonnet of best silk crape, with long veil. One bonnet of rainproof crape, with crape veil. Twelve collars and cuffs of muslin or lawn, with deep hems. Several sets must be provided, say six of each kind.

One black stuff petticoat.

Four pairs of black hose, either silk, cashmere, or spun silk.

Twelve handkerchiefs with black borders for ordinary use, cambric.

Twelve of finer cambric for better occasions.

Caps, either of lisse, tulle, or tarlatan, shape depending very much on the age. Young widows wear chiefly the Marie Stuart shape, but all widows' caps have long streamers. They vary, of course, in price. Tarlatan are the easiest made at home, but we do not fancy home-made widows' caps are an economy, they soil so much more quickly than bought caps. It is a good plan to buy extra streamers and bows for them; these can be made at home for the morning caps, very fine thread and needles being used for the work, which should be very fine, neat, and even. If in summer a parasol should be required, it should be of silk deeply trimmed with crape, almost covered with it, but no lace or fringe for the first year. Afterward mourning fringe might be put on. A muff, if required, would be made of Paramatta, and trimmed with crape.

The first mourning is worn for twelve months. Second mourning twelve months also; the cap in second mourning is left off, and the crape no longer covers the dresses, but is put on in tucks. Elderly widows frequently remain in mourning for long periods, if not for the remainder of their lives, retaining the widow's cap, collar and cuffs, but leaving off the deep

crape the second year, and afterwards entirely discarding crape, but wearing mourning materials such as Victoria cords, Janus cords, cashmere, and so on.

No ornaments are worn in such deep mourning, except jet, for the first year. Jet is, of course, allowable. Rich silk is, of course, admissible in widows' mourning, especially for evening wear, but it must always be deeply trimmed with crape for the first year, and the quantity afterwards gradually lessened. A silk costume is a very expensive item in a widow's mourning; therefore we only allude to it-do not set it down as a necessity. The best silks for the purpose are rich, heavy silks, such as grosgrain, drap du nord, satin merveilleux. Furs are not admissible in widows' first mourning, though very dark sealskin and astrachan can be worn when the dress is changed. In other mournings, furs are now very generally worn-that is, after the first few months, but only dark furs.

Widows' lingerie, to be always nice, entails a considerable amount of expense. If collars, cuffs and caps are made at home, as we before said, they get soiled directly. As, however, it is not always possible to buy them when they require renewing, the following directions may prove of use: Wid ow's cuffs, made in tarlatan, should be about nine inches long, according to the size of the wrist. They are not intended to overlap, but just to meet, fastened with two buttons and loops, placed near the upper and lower edges. The ordinary depth is five inches, with a wide hem at the top and bottom of an inch and a half depth. The material being merely a straight piece, they are easy to make. For the collar, the straight allround shape, turning down over the collar of the dress, is the most usual. If any other shape is required, cut it in paper, and make it accordingly with the wide hem of one and a-half inch. If the collar is straight, it will be merely necessary to turn it down; if rounded at all, it must be cut to the shape, run to the collar at the edge, and then turned down. Fine cotton and needles and neat work are required."

If an attempt is made to make widows' caps at home, first procure a good cap for a model, and copy it as exactly as possible. It must be made on a "dolly" or wooden block of a head, or it will never sit well.

To preserve widows' caps clean, fresh-looking, and of a good color, when not in use they should be put on cap-holders on a shelf in a cupboard, the long streamers turned up over the cap, and a piece of blue paper (thin) laid over them. So treated, they will with care last a long while, that, is, if there are two or three worn in turn, and they are put away in this manner when not in actual use.

Duration

It may be as well to sum up what we have said. of mourning: Widow's first mourning lasts for a year and a day. Second mourning cap left off, less crape and silk for nine months (some curtail it to six), remaining three months of second year plain black without crape, and jet ornaments. At the end of the second year the mourning can be put off entirely; but it is better taste to wear half mourning for at least six months longer; and, as we have before mentioned, many widows never wear colors any more, unless for some solitary event, such as the wedding of a child, when they would probably put it off for the day. Materials:

Dresses and Mantles.-Paramatta, Barathea, silk trimmed with silk, Albert or rainproof crape.

Bonnets and Veils.-Crape.

Caps.-Lisse, tulle, tarlatan.

Collars and Cuffs.-Lawn and muslin.
Petticoats.-Black stuff or silk-quilted.

Pocket Handkerchiefs.-Cambric, black borders.
Hose.-Black Balbriggan, cashmere, or silk.
Gloves.-Black kid.

The mourning for parents ranks next to that of widows; for children by their parents, and for parents by their children, these being of course identical in degree. It lasts in either case twelve months-six months in crape trimmings, three in plain black, and three in half-mourning. It is, however. better taste to continue the plain black to the end of the year and wear half-mourning for three months longer Materials for first six months, either Paramatta, Barathea, or any of the black corded stuffs, such as Janus cord, about thirty-eight inches wide; Henrietta cord about same price and width. Such dresses would be trimmed with two deep tucks of crape, either Albert or rainproof, would be made plainly, the body trimmed with crape, and sleeves with deep crape cuffs. Collars and cuffs, to be worn during the first mourning would be made of muslin or lawn, with three or four tiny tucks in distinction to widows' with the wide, deep hem. Pocket hand. kerchiefs would be bordered with black. Black hose, silk or Balbriggan, would be worn, and black kid gloves. For out. door wear either a dolman mantle would be worn or a paletôt, either of silk or Paramatta, but in either case trimmed with crape. Crape bonnets or hats; if for young children, all crape for bonnets, hats, silk and crape; feathers (black) could be worn, and a jet clasp or arrow in the bonnet, but no other kind of jewelry is admissible but jet-that is, as long as crape is worn. Black furs, such as astrachan, may be worn, or very dark sealskin, or black sealskin cloth, now so fashionable, but no light furs of any sort. Silk dresses can be worn, crape. trimmed after the first three months if preferred, and if expense be no object; the lawn-tucked collars and cuffs would be worn with them. At the end of the six months crape can be put aside, and plain black, such as cashmere, worn, trimmed with silk if liked, but not satin, for that is not a mourning material, and is therefore never worn by those who strictly attend to mourning etiquette. With plain black, black gloves and hose would of course be worn, and jet, no gold or silver jewelry for at least nine months after the com. mencement of mourning; then, if the time expires in the twelve months, gray gloves might be worn, and gray ribbons, lace or plain linen collar and cuffs take the place of the lawn or muslin, and gray feathers might lighten the hat or bonnet, or reversible black and gray strings.

Many persons think it is in better taste not to commence half-mourning until after the expiration of a year, except in the case of young children, who are rarely kept in mourning beyond the twelve months,

A wife would wear just the same mourning for her husband's relations as for her own; thus, if her husband's mother died, she would wear mourning as deep as if for her own mother.

For Grandparents, the first mourning (crape) is worn for three

months; second mourning, black, without crape, also worn for three months; and half-mourning for three more, or nine months in all. The same materials are worn, Paramatta, Barathea, various cords with crape and cashmere, and merino when the crape is left off.

For Sisters or Brothers, six months' mourning is usually worn. Crape for three, plain black for two, and half mourning for one month; the same sort of stuffs, the crape being put on in one deep tuck and two narrow tucks; bodice, crape trimmed; mantle or dolman, crape trimmed; bonnet of crape with feathers or jet, hat of silk and crape. Veil of hat with crape tuck, hose black silk, Balbriggan or cashmere, handkerchiefs black bordered. Silks can be worn after the first month if trimmed with crape.

For Uncles, Aunts, Nephews, or Nieces, crape is not worn, but plain black, with jet for three months.

For Great Uncles or Aunts, mourning would last for two months without crape.

For Cousins (first), six weeks are considered sufficient, three of which would be in half-mourning.

For Cousins less closely related, mourning is hardly ever put on unless they have been inmates of the house.

No invitations would be accepted before the funeral of any relatives closely enough related to you to put on mourning for. In the case of brothers, sisters, parents, and grandparents, society would be given up for at least three months, if not more, and it would be very bad taste to go to a ball or large festive gathering in crape. Widows do not enter society for at least a year-that is, during the period of their deepest mourning. With regard to complimentary mourning-as worn by mothers for the mother or father-in-law of their married children, black would be worn for six weeks or so without crape, by second wives for the parents of the first wife, for about three weeks, and in a few other cases.

It is better taste to wear mourning in making the first call after a bereavement on friends, but this is not a decided rule, only a graceful method of implying sympathy with those who are suffering affliction. But calls are not made until the cards with "thanks for kind inquiries” have been sent in return for the cards left at the time of decease. Letters of condolence should always be written on slightly black-edged paper, and it would be kind to intimate in the letter that no answer to it will be expected. Few realize the effort it is to those left to sit down and write answers to inquiries and letters, however kind and sympathizing they may have been.

Servants' Mourning.-Servants are not usually put into mourning except for the members of the household in which they are living, not for the relatives of their masters and mistresses, and very frequently only for the heads of the house, not for the junior members.

A best dress of Victoria cord or alpaca, two cotton dresses, black for mourning wear while at work. A cloth jacket, in case of master or mistress, with a slight crape trimming, a silk and crape bonnet, pair of black kid gloves, and some yards of black cap ribbon, would be the mourning given to the servants in the house at the time of the death of one of the heads of the establishment, and their mourning would be worn for at least six months, or even a year in some cases.

The following is a list of suitable materials for mourning of those relationships we have named, all of which can be obtained at any good mourning establishment.

Silk crape, Paramatta, Albert crape,Barathea, rainproof crape, silk, Cyprus crape. Janus cord, Victoria cord, Balmoral cloth, Cashmere Français, Kashgar Cashmere; these last are wide materials from 44 to 47 inches. Crape cloth looks precisely like crape, but is much lighter and cooler.

For summer wear drap d'été, a mixture of silk and wool, is suitable; barège for dinner dresses; nun's veil cloth, etc., etc. The best all-black washing materials are cotton, satine, foulardine; black and white for slighter mourning, black with tiny white spots or sprigs.

Children should be dressed in these black washing materials —that is, for summer wear, in preference to the thicker materials, as for young children, crape is soon dispensed with. Neither velvet, satin, nor plush can be worn in mourning—that is in strict mourning-for they are not mourning materials. Attempts have been made to bring in some colors, such as red or violet, and we consider them suitable to slight mourning; but the only color really admissible for half-mourning is gray, or the palest lavender, gray gloves sewn with black, gray and black reversible ribbons, gray and black feathers, gray flowers mixed with black, and so on.

In all cases of mourning it is the best plan to write to some

well-known house for patterns; good mourning establishments

can afford to sell better materials at cheaper rates than small inferior houses. Large firms have always a good choice of materials for mourning on hand; and it is really far greater economy to buy good materials when going into mourning, than cheap flimsy stuffs, which give no wear at all; besides, such houses send out books of fashions and prices for making up mourning costumes, which give a good idea of the expense to be incurred, even if it is not found cheaper to purchase and have mourning made up by them.

Mourning has generally to be purchased hurriedly, and too often a dressmaker gets carte blanche almost to furnish the mourning. If such is the case, no wonder mourning is con sidered expensive; for things which are quite unnecessary, such as expensive crape in the place of rainproof kinds, more crape used than the degre of mourning requires, and many extravagancies of a like nature, naturally swell such a bill into one of large proportions, when by a little forethought the necessary black could have been purchased at a far more reasonable rate. It is not necessary to have very expensive mourning if our means will not allow it; we should learn to suit our requirement to the state of our purses. But we sincerely trust the old custom of wearing decent mourning for those taken away from us, will never be really discontinued in America, for it is one of those proofs of our home affections which can never be done away with without a loss of national respect.

HAKING hands after an introduction has taken place is merely optional not necessary.

It is not necessary to introduce people who meet at your house on morning calls.

It is optional after such an introduction, with the parties introduced, to continue or drop the ac quaintance so formed.

A friend visiting at your house must be introduced to all callers, who are bound to continue the acquaintance as long as the friend is your guest.

A gentleman must always raise his hat, if introduced in the street, to either lady or gentleman.

Letters of introduction to and from business men, for business purposes, may be delivered by the bearers in person, and etiquette does not require the receiver to entertain the person introduced as the private friend of the writer.

BALL.

A hundred gents or over that number constitute a ball. The lady of the house must stand near the door, so as to receive her guests, to each of whom she must find something to say, no matter how trifling. The host must also be near, to welcome arrivals, and the sons to introduce people. The young ladies and their very intimate friends must see that the dances are kept up, and should not dance themselves till they have found partners for all their friends. They may with perfect propriety ask any gentleman present to be introduced a partner, and he is bound to accept the invitation; but the lady must be careful whom she asks. Some young ladies do not dance at all, preferring to see their friends amused, and for fear of causing jealousies.

If you escort a lady to a ball, call for her at the appointed hour, in a carriage, and send a bouquet early in the day. Upon arriving at the house where the ball is held, escort your charge to the dressing-room door. She may or may not dance the first dance with you. Ask her. You must see that

she gets her supper, and offer to leave the ball at any hour that she may be desirous of so doing.

No gentleman should wait for the "fiddles to strike up" to engage a partner.

At a public ball, a lady may refuse to have a gentleman presented to her.

Do not remain too late.

"May I have the pleasure of the waltz or quadrille with you," ," is all that a gentleman need say on introduction. If the lady says yes, he asks permission to write his name on her card.

Always give your arm to a lady in crossing a ball-room.

Do not feel offended if your fair partner fails to bow to you when you meet her after a ball. It is optional, some young ladies are very timid, and fear that gentlemen forget them.

Do not feel slighted if your fair companion does not invite you to enter her home on returning from the ball. If she does invite you, decline.

AT HOMES-RECEPTIONS-GIVING
PARTIES.

Parties in cities consist of-at homes, receptions, conversa ziones, private concerts, private theatricals, soirées, dramatic tea-parties, matinées, or a gathering of people.

In the country, the in-door parties comprise small dancingparties, tea-parties, and conversaziones; but the out-door occa sions are of much greater number and variety; lawn-tennis parties, croquet, sailing, and boating parties, picnics, private fêtes, berrying parties, nutting parties, May festivals, Fourth of July festivals, anything for a day spent in out-door frolic.

For "Receptions " and " At Homes," and conversaziones in. vitations should be sent out a week beforehand.

At a reception you have music and singing, perhaps recita. tions. Light refreshments are served, and the hostess makes the most of her rooms in display, etc.

Gentlemen should take elderly ladies into refreshments. Let amateur performers learn something off by heart. Being provided with notes is not stylish.