Lucio. Well, my lord. Duke. This is no witness for lord Angelo. Mari. Now I come to't, my lord: She that accuses him of fornication, In self-same manner doth accuse my husband, And charges him, my lord, with such a time, When I'll depose I had him in mine arms. Ang. Charges she more than me? Mari. Not that I know. Duke. No? you say your husband? Mari. Why, just my lord, and that is Angelo. A. This is a strange abuse1:-Let's see thy face. Mar. My husband bids me; now I will unmask. [Unveiling. This is that face, thou cruel Angelo, [on: Which once thou swor'st was worth the looking This is the hand, which, with a vow'd contract, Was fast belock'd in thine: and this is she That took away the match from Isabel, And did supply thee at thy garden-house, In her imagin'd person. Know you this woman? Duke. 4. My lord, I must confess, I know this woman; And, five years since, there was some speech of marriage Betwixt myself and her; which was broke off, Mari. Duke. Ay, with my heart; And punish them unto your height of pleasure. Thou foolish friar; and thou pernicious woman, Compact with her that's gone! think'st thou thy oaths, [saint, Though they would swear down each particular Were testimonies against his worth and credit, That's seal'd in approbation?-You, lord Escalus, Sit with my cousin; lend him your kind pains To find out this abuse, whence 'tis derived.There is another friar that set them on; Let him be sent for. (indeed, F. Peter. Would he were here, my lord; for he, Hath set the women on to this complaint; Your provost knows the place where he abides, And he may fetch him. Duke. Go do it instantly. [Exit Provost. And you, my noble, and well-warranted cousin, 1 Deception. 2 Crazy. 3 Conspiracy. Whom it concerns to hear this matter forth, Escal. My lord, we'll do it thoroughly.-[Exit Duke.] Signior Lucio, did not you say, you knew that friar Lodowick to be a dishonest person? Lucio. Cucullus non facit monachum: honest in nothing but in his clothes; and one that hath spoke most villainous speeches of the duke. Escal. We shall entreat you to abide here till he come, and enforce them against him: we shall find this friar a notable fellow. Lucio. As any in Vienna, on my word. Escal. Call that same Isabel here once again; [To an Attendant.] I would speak with her: Pray you, my lord, give me leave to question; you shall see how I'll handle her. Re-enter Officers, with Isabella; the Duke in the Friar's habit, and Provost. Escal. Come on, mistress: [To Isabella. ] here's a gentlewoman denies all that you have said. Lucio. My lord, here comes the rascal I spoke of; here, with the provost. Escal. In very good time:-speak not you to him, till we call upon you. Lucio. Mum. Escal. Come, sir: did you set these women on to slander lord Angelo? they have confess'd you did. Duke. 'Tis false. Escal. How! know you where you are? Duke. Where is the duke? 'tis he should hear me speak. [speak: Escal. The duke's in us; and we will hear you Look, you speak justly. Duke. Boldly, at least:-But, O, poor souls, Come you to seek the lamb here of the fox? Good night to your redress. Is the duke gone? Then is your cause gone too. The duke's unjust, Thus to retort your manifest appeal, And put your trial in the villain's mouth, Which here you come to accuse. Lucio. This is the rascal; this is he I spoke of. Escal. Why, thou unreverend and unĥallow'd friar? [women, Is't not enough that thou hast suborn'd these To accuse this worthy man; but in foul mouth, And in the witness of his proper ear, To call him villain? And then to glance from him to the duke himself; To tax him with injustice?-Take him hence; To the rack with him:-We'll touze you joint by joint, But we will know this purpose:-What! unjust? Dare no more stretch this finger of mine, than he Stand like the forfeits in a barber's shop, M. O, my good lord !-Sweet Isabel, take my Lend me your knees, and all my life to come Isabel, Mari. For being a little bad: so may my husband. Duke. He dies for Claudio's death. Let him not die: My brother had but justice, His act did not o'ertake his bad intent, Is he pardon'd; and for your lovely sake, One all of luxury, an ass, a madman; That perish'd by the way: thoughts are no That you extol me thus? subjects; Intents but merely thoughts. Mari. Prov. Prov. Pardon me, noble lord: I thought it was a fault, but knew it not; His name is Barnardine. Lucio. 'Faith, my lord, I spoke it but according to the trick:2 If you will hang me for it, you may, but I had rather it would please you, I might be whipp'd. Duke. Whipp'd first, sir, and hang'd after.Proclaim it, provost, round about the city; If any woman's wrong'd by this lewd fellow, (As I have heard him swear himself, there's one), Let her appear, and he shall marry her: The nuptial finish'd, let him be whipp'd and hang'd. Lucio. I beseech your highness, do not marry me so. Your highness said even now, I made you a duke; good my lord, do not recompense me so. Duke. Upon mine honour, thou shalt marry her. Lucio. Marrying me so, my lord, is pressing to death, whipping, and hanging. Duke. Sland'ring a prince deserves it.- Ang. I am sorry, that such sorrow I procure: There's more behind, that is more gratulate. And so deep sticks it in my penitent heart, Thanks, provost, for thy care and secrecy; That I crave death more willingly than mercy; We shall employ thee in a worthier place:--"Tis my deserving, and I do entreat it. Forgive him, Angelo, that brought you home The head of Ragozine for Claudio's; Re-enter Provost, Barnardine, Claudio, and The offence pardons itself.-Dear Isabel, I have a motion much imports your good; Whereto if you'll a willing ear incline, What's mine is yours, and what is yours is mine: So bring us to our palace; where we 'll show What's yet behind, that's meet you all should know. [Exeunt Juliet. Duke. Which is that Barnardine? Much Ado About Nothing. Persons Represented. DON PEDRO, Prince of Arragon. BENEDICK, a young Lord of Padua, Favourite likewise of Don Pedro. LEONATO, Governor of Messina. BALTHAZAR, Servant to Don Pedro. CONRADE, Followers of Don John. Act First. SCENE.-Messina. SCENE I.-BEFORE LEONATO'S HOUSE. Enter Leonato, Hero, Beatrice, and others, with a Messenger. Leon. I learn in this letter, that Don Pedro of Arragon comes this night to Messina. Mess. He is very near by this; he was not three leagues off when I left him. Leon. How many gentlemen have you lost in this action? Mess. But few of any sort, and none of name. Leon. A victory is twice itself, when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here, that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine, called Claudio. Mess. Much deserved on his part, and equally remembered by Don Pedro: He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age; doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion; he hath, indeed, better bettered expectation, than you must expect of me to tell you how. Leon. He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it. Mess. I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much joy in him; even so much, that joy could not show itself modest enough, without a badge of bitterness. Leon. Did he break out into tears? Leon. A kind overflow of kindness: There are no faces truer than those that are so washed. How much better is it to weep at joy, than to joy at weeping. Beat. I pray you, is signior Montanto returned from the wars, or no? Mess. I know none of that name, lady; there was none such in the army of any sort. Leon. What is he that you ask for, niece? H.Mycousin means signior Benedickof Padua. Mess. O, he is returned; and as pleasant as ever he was. Beat. He set up his bills here in Messina, and 1 Abundance. challenged Cupid at the flight: and my uncle's fool, reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged him at the bird-bolt.-I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? for, indeed, I promised to eat all of his killing. L. Faith, niece, you tax signior Benedick too much; but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not. Mess. He hath done good service, lady, in these wars. Beat. You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he is a very valiant trencher-man, he hath an excellent stomach. Mess. And a good soldier too, lady. Beut. And a good soldier to a lady.-But what is he to a lord? Mess. A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed with all honourable virtues. Beat. It is so, indeed, he is no less than a stuffed man but for the stuffing.-Well, we are all mortal. Leon. You must not, sir, mistake my niece: there is a kind of merry war betwixt signior Benedick and her: they never meet, but there is a skirmish of wit between them. Beat. Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict, four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse: for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature.-Who is his companion now? hath every month a new sworn brother. Mess. Is it possible? He Beat. Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block. Mess. I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books. Beat. No: an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now, that will make a voyage with him to the devil? 1 Quarreller Mess. He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio. Beat. He will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. Heaven help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured. Mess. I will hold friends with you, lady. Beat. Do, good friend. Leon. You will never run mad, niece. Enter Don Pedro, attended by Balthazar and Leon. Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should remain: but, when you depart from me, sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave. D. Pedro. You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this is your daughter. Leon. Her mother hath many times told me so. Be. Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her? Leon. Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child. D. Pedro. You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself: Be happy, lady! for you are like an honourable father. Bene. If signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is. Beat. I wonder that you will still be talking, signior Benedick; nobody marks you. Bene. What, my dear lady Disdain! are you yet living? Beat. Is it possible, disdain should die, while she hath such meet food to feed it as signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence. Bene. Then is courtesy a turncoat :-But it is certain, I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none. Beat. A dear happiness to women; they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I am of your humour for that; I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. Bene. Heaven keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratched face. Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours were. Bene. Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. Beat. A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours. Bene. I would my horse had the speed of your tongue; and so good a continuer: But keep your way; I have done. Beat. You always end with a jade's trick; I know you of old. D. Pedro. This is the sum of all: Don John,signior Claudio, and signior Benedick,-my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him, we shall stay here at the least a month; and he heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer: I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart. Leon. If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn.-Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty. D. John. I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank you. Leon. Please it your grace lead on? D. Pedro. Your hand, Leonato; we will go together. [Exeunt all but Benedick and Claudio. Claud. Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of signior Leonato? Bene. I noted her not; but I looked on her. Claud. Is she not a modest young lady? Bene. Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex? Cla. No, I pray thee, speak in soberjudgment Bene. Why, i' faith, methinks she is too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise: only this commendation I can afford her; that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I do not like her. Claud. Thou thinkest I am in sport; I pray thee, tell me truly how thou likest her. Bene. Would you buy her, that you inquire after her? But Claud. Can the world buy such a jewel? Bene. Yea, and a case to put it into. speak you this with a sad brow? or do you play the flouting Jack; to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take you, to go in the song? Claud. In mine eye, she is the sweetest lady that ever I look'd on. Bene. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter: there's her cousin, an she were not possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn husband, have you? Cla. I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. Bene. Is it come to this? Hath not the world one man, but he will wear his cap with suspicion ? Shall I never see a bachelor of three-score again? Go to; and thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh away Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is returned to seek you. Re-enter Don Pedro. D. Pedro. What secret hath held you here, that you followed not to Leonato's? Bene. I would, your grace would constrain me to tell. D. Pedro. I charge thee, on thy allegiance. Bene. You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on my allegiance,-mark you this, on my allegiance:-He is in love. With who?now that is your grace's part.-Mark, how short |