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“ Why, pray,
“ be met with in the world.”—“ Why,” replied he,
1,"said he. She did so; and observed the south wall was lined with brick, and a great number of fruit trees planted against it, which being then in blossom, looked very beautiful,
you so intent on?” said the dean. “ bloom,” replied she ; which brought Waller's lines to her remembrance,
Hope waits upon the flow’ry prime.” “ Oh !” replied he, " you are in a poetical vein ; I
thought you had been taking notice of my wall. It is “ the best in Ireland. When the masons were build.
ing it, (as most tradesmen are rogues) I watched “ them very close, and as often as they could, they “ put in a rotten stone ; of which however I took no “ notice, until they had built three or four perches “ beyond it. Now, as I am an absolute monarch in “ the liberties, and king of the rabble, my way " with them was, to have the wall thrown down to
« What are « The opening
" the place where I observed the rotten stone ; and,
by doing so five or six times, the workmen were at “ last convinced it was their interest to be honest :”
or else, sir,” said Mrs. Pilkington, “ your wall “ would have been as tedious a piece of work as Pene“ lope's web, if all that was done in the day was to be “ undone at night.” “ Well,” answered the dean, “ I find you have poetry for every occasion; but as
you cannot keep pace with me in walking, I would “ have you sit down on that little bank till you are “ rested, or I tired, to put us more upon a par.
She seated herself, and away the dean walked, or rather trotted as hard as ever he could drive. She could not help smiling at his odd gait; for she thought to herself, he had written so much in praise of horses, that he was resolved to imitate them as nearly as he could. As she was indulging this fancy, the dean returned to her, and gave her a strong confirmation of his partiality to those animals, “ I have been considering, madam, as I “ walked,” said he, “ what a fool Mr. Pilkington “ was to marry you; for he could have afforded to
keep a horse for less money than you cost him; " and that you must confess would have given him “ better exercise and more pleasure than a wife-Why,
you laugh, and don't answer me—is it not truth ?" _“I must answer you, sir,” replied she, “ with “ another question : pray how can a bachelor judge “ of this matter?” -“ I find,” said he, “ you are vain
enough to give yourself the preference.” “ I do
sir,” replied she,“ to that species here; to a Houyhn“ hom I would, as becomes me, give preference. “ But, sir, it is going to rain.”—“I hope not,” said he, “ for that will cost me sixpence for a coach for “you,” (the garden being at some distance from the
house.) monious manner of asking a favour with distaste, and positively refused him. He said, she should sing, or he would make her.
“ Why, madam, I suppose you take me for one of your poor English hedge
parsons; sing when I bid you.” As the earl did nothing but laugh at this freedom, the lady was so vexed, that she burst into tears, and retired.
His first compliment to her when he saw her again, was, “ Pray, madam, are you as proud and as illnatured now, as when I saw you last ?" To which she answered with great humour,“ No, Mr. dean; “ I'll sing for you, if you please.” From which time he conceived great esteem for her. But who that knew him would take offence at his bluntness?
He was a perpetual friend to merit and learning; and utterly incapable of envy; for in true genuine wit he could fear no rival.
It has been often observed, that where great talents are bestowed, there the strongest passions are likewise given. This great man sometimes let them have dominion over him, and that on trifling occasions, especially at meal times : however, when the cloth was taken away, he made his guests rich amends for any pain he had given them. For then,
Was truly mingled in the friendly bowl,
Yet he preserved strict temperance: for he never drank above half a pint of wine, in every glass of which he mixed water and sugar; yet, if he liked his company, would sit many hours over it, unlocking all the
springs springs of policy, learning, true humour, and inimitable wit.
The following story the dean told to Mrs. Pilkington.
A clergyman,* who was a most learned fine gentleman, but, under the softest and politest appearance, concealed the most turbulent ambition, having made his merit as a preacher too eminent to be overlooked, had it early rewarded with a mitre. Dr. Swift went to congratulate him on it; but told him, he hoped, as his lordship was a native of Ireland, and had now a seat in the house of peers, he would employ his powerful elocution in the service of his distressed country. The prelate told him, the bishoprick was but a very small one, and he could not hope for a better, if he did not oblige the court. “Very well,” says Swift,“ then it is to be hoped, when you have a “ better, you will become an honest man.”
Ay, “ that I will, Mr. dean," says he. “ lord, farewell,” answered Swift. This prelate was twice translated to richer sees; and, on every translation, Dr. Swift waited on him to remind him of his promise ; but to no purpose ; there was now an archbishoprick in view, and till that was obtained, nothing could be done. Having in a short time likewise got this, he then waited on the dean, and told him, “ I “ am now at the top of my preferment; for I well “ know that no Irishman will ever be made primate; “ therefore as I can rise no higher in fortune or sta“ tion, I will zealously promote the good of my “ country.” And from that time became a most zealous patriot.
* Dr. Theophilus Bolton, promoted to the bishoprick of Clonfert 1722, translated to Elphin 1724, and to the archbishoprick of Cashell 1729. Vol. I.
« Till then, my
house.) « Come, haste; O how the tester trembles “ in my pocket!” She obeyed; and they got home just time enough to escape a heavy shower. “ Thank « God,” said the dean, “ I have saved my money. “ Here, you fellow, (to the servant) carry this six
pence to the lame old man that sells gingerbread at “ the corner, because he tries to do something, and « does not beg."
Mrs. Pilkington was showed into a little street. parlour, in which was Mrs. Brent, his housekeeper. “ Here,” says he, “Mrs. Brent, take care of this “ child, while I take my walk out within doors.” The dean then ran up the great stairs, down one pair of backstairs, up another, in so violent a manner, that Mrs. Pilkington could not help expressing her uneasiness to Mrs. Brent, lest he should fall, and be hurted. Mrs. Brent said, it was a customary exercise with him, when the weather did not permit him to walk abroad.
Mrs. Brent then told Mrs. Pilkington of the dean's charity; of his giving about half of his yearly income in private pensions to decayed families ; and keeping five hundred pounds in the constant service of industrious poor, which he lent out five pounds at a time, and took'the payment back at two shillings a week; which, she observed, did them more service than if he gave it to them entirely, as it obliged them to work, and at the same time kept up this charitable fund for the assistance of many.
“ You can “ not imagine," said she, “ what numbers of poor “ tradesmen, who have even wanted proper tools to
carry on their work, have, by this small loan, been “ put into a prosperous way, and brought up their