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Wha's ragin flame, an' scorchin heat,
Wad melt the hardest whunstane!
The half-asleep start up wi' fear,
An' think they hear it roarin,
When presently it does appear
'Twas but some neebor snorin,
Asleep that day.

XXIII.

"Twad be owre lang a tale to tell,
How monie stories past,

An' how they crowded to the yill,
When they were a' dismist;
How drink gaed round, in cogs an' caups
Amang the furms an' benches;

An' cheese an' bread, frae women's laps,
Was dealt about in lunches

An' dawds that day.

XXIV.

In comes a gaucie, gash guidwife,
An' sits down by the fire,
Syne draws her kebbuck an' her knife,
The lasses they are shyer.
The auld guidmen, about the grace,
Frae side to side they bother,
Till some ane by his bonnet lays,
An' gies them't like a tether
Fu' lang that day.

XXV.

Waesucks! for him that gets no lass
Or lasses that hae naething!

Sma' need has he to say a grace,
Or melvie his braw claething!
O wives, be mindfu' ance yoursel',
How bonie lads ye wanted!
An' dinna, for a kebbuck heel,
Let lasses be affronted,
On sic a day!

XXVI.

Now Clinkumbell, wi' rattlin tow,

Begins to jow an' croon;

Some swagger hame the best they dow,

Some wait the afternoon.

At slaps the billies halt a blink,

Till lasses strip their shoon;

Wi' faith an' hope, an' love an' drink,

They're a' in famous tune

For crack that day.

XXVII.

How monie heats this day converts,

O' sinners and o' lasses!

Their hearts o' stane, gin night are gane, As saft as onie flesh is.

There's some are fou o' love divine;

There's some are fou o' brandy;

An' monie jobs that day begin,
May end in Houghmagandie,
Some ither day.

THE ORDINATION.

For sense they little owe to frugal Heav'n-
To please the mob they hide the little giv'n.

I.

KILMARNOCK Wabsters fidge an' claw
An' pour your creeshie nations;
An' ye wha leather rax an' draw,
Of a' denominations:

Swith to the Laigh Kirk, ane an' a',

An' there tak up your stations;
Then aff to Begbie's in a raw,

An' pour divine libations

For joy this day.

II.

Curst Common Sense, that imp o' hell,
Cam in wi' Maggie Lauder ;*

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An' he's the boy will blaud her!
He'll clap a shangan on he tail,

An' set the bairns to daud her

Wi' dirt this day.

• Alluding to a scoffing ballad which was made on the admission of

the late reverend and worthy Mr. L. to the Laigh Kirk.

III.

Mak haste an' turn King David owre,
An' lilt wi' holy clangor;

O' double verse come gie us four,
An' skirl up the Bangor:

This day the Kirk kicks up a stoure,
Nae mair the knaves shall wrang her
For heresy is in her power,

And gloriously she'll whang her
Wi' pith this day.

IV.

Come, let a proper text be read,
An' touch it aff wi' vigor,

How graceless Ham* leugh at his Dad,
Which made Canaan a nigger;
Or Phineas † drove the murdering blade,
Wi' whore-abhorring rigor;

Or Zipporah, the scaulding jade,

Was like a bluidy tiger

I' the inn that day

V.

There, try his mettle on the creed,
And bind him down wi' caution,

That Stipend is a carnal weed
He taks but for the fashion;
And gie him o'er the flock, to feed,
And punish each transgression;

*Genesis, ch. ix. ver. 22.
† Numbers, ch. xxv. ver. 8.
Exodus, ch. iv. ver. 25

Especial, rams that cross the breed,

Gie them sufficient threshin,

Spare them nae day.

VI.

Now auld Kilmarnock, cock thy tail,
And toss thy horns fu' canty;
Nae mair thou'lt rowte out-owre the dale
Because thy pasture's scanty;
For lapsfu' large o' gospel kail

Shall fill thy crib in plenty,

An' runts o' grace the pick and wale
No gien by way o'dainty,

But ilka day.

VII.

Nae mair by Babel's streams we'll weep

To think upon our Zion;

And hing our fiddlers up to sleep,

Like baby-clouts a-dryin.

Come, screw the pegs wi' tunefu' cheep, And o'er the thairms be tryin;

Oh, rare! to see our elbucks wheep,

An' a' like lamb-tails flying

Fu' fast this day!

VIII.

Lang patronage, wi' rod o' airn

Has shor'd the kirk's undoin,

As lately F-nw-ck, sair forfairn,
Has proven to its ruin:

Our Patron, honest man! Glencairn,

He saw mischief was brewin;

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