Τ' THE JACKET HROUGH the Plagues of Egyp' we was chasin' Gettin' down an' shovin' in the sun; An' you might 'ave called us dirty, an' you might ha' called us dry, An' you might 'ave 'eard us talkin' at the gun. But the Captain 'ad 'is jacket, an' the jacket it was new('Orse Gunners, listen to my song!) An' the wettin' of the jacket is the proper thing to do, Nor we didn't keep 'im waiting very long. One day they gave us orders for to shell a sand redoubt, Loadin' down the axle-arms with case; But the Captain knew 'is dooty, an' he took the crackers out An' he put some proper liquor in its place. An' the Captain saw the shrapnel, which is six-an'-thirty clear. ('Orse Gunners, listen to my song!) 'Will you draw the weight,' sez 'e, 'or will you draw the beer?' An' we didn't keep 'im waitin' very long. For the Captain, etc. Then we trotted gentle, not to break the bloomin' glass, Though the Arabites 'ad all their ranges marked; THE JACKET But we dursn't 'ardly gallop, for the most was bottled Bass, An' we'd dreamed of it since we was disembarked: So we fired economic with the shells we 'ad in 'and ('Orse Gunners, listen to my song!), But the beggars under cover 'ad the impidence to stand, An' we couldn't keep 'em waitin' very long. And the Captain, etc. So we finished 'arf the liquor (an' the Captain took champagne), An' the Arabites was shootin' all the while; An' we left our wounded 'appy with the empties on the plain, An' we used the bloomin' guns for projec-tile! We limbered up an' galloped-there were nothin' else to do ('Orse Gunners, listen to my song!) An' the Battery came a-boundin' like a boundin' kan garoo, But they didn't watch us comin' very long. As the Captain, etc. We was goin' most extended-we was drivin' very fine, An' the Captain stood a limberful of fizzy-somethin' But we didn't leave it fizzing very long. For the Captain, etc. We might ha' been court-martialled, but it all come out all right When they signalled us to join the main command. There was every round expended, there was every gunner tight, An' the Captain waved a corkscrew in 'is 'and. THE 'EATHEN HE 'eathen in 'is blindness bows down to wood an' stone; 'E don't obey no orders unless they is 'is own; 'E keeps 'is side-arms awful: 'e leaves 'em all about, An' then comes up the regiment an' pokes the 'eathen out. All along o' dirtiness, all along o' mess, The young recruit is 'aughty-'e draf's from Gawd knows where; They bid 'im show 'is stockin's an' lay 'is mattress square; 'E calls it bloomin' nonsense-'e doesn't know no moreAn' then up comes 'is Company an' kicks 'im round the floor! The young recruit is 'ammered-'e takes it very 'ard; 'E 'angs 'is 'ead an' mutters-'e sulks about the yard; 'E talks o' 'cruel tyrants' 'e'll swing for by-an'-by, An' the others 'ears an' mocks 'im, an' the boy goes orf to cry. 1Not now. 2To-morrow. "Wait a bit. The young recruit is silly-'e thinks o' suicide; 'E's lost 'is gutter-devil; 'e 'asn't got 'is pride; But day by day they kicks 'im, which 'elps 'im on a bit, Gettin' clear o' dirtiness, gettin' done with mess, The young recruit is 'appy-'e throws a chest to suit; You see 'im grow mustaches; you 'ear 'im slap 'is boot; 'E learns to drop the 'bloodies' from every word 'e slings, An' 'e shows an 'ealthy brisket when 'e strips for bars an' rings. The cruel-tyrant-sergeants they watch 'im 'arf a year; They watch 'im with 'is comrades, they watch 'im with 'is beer; They watch 'im with the women at the regimental dance, And the cruel-tyrant-sergeants send 'is name along for 'Lance.' An' now 'e's 'arf o' nothin', an' all a private yet, 'Is room they up an' rags 'im to see what they will get; They rags 'im low an' cunnin', each dirty trick they can, But 'e learns to sweat 'is temper an' 'e learns to sweat 'is man. An', last, a Colour-Sergeant, as such to be obeyed, |