the philosophical bard, that" partial evil is universal good." But there are a variety of gossips, though our great lexicographer defines but three; namely, 1. One who answers for the child in baptism. Go to a gossip's feast and gaude with me, Shakspeare At the christening of George Duke of Clarence, who was born in the Castle of Dublin, he made both the Earl of Kildare and the Earl of Ormond his gossips. Davies on Ireland These certainly must have been gossips of no small consequence. in. 2. A tippling companion. And sometimes lurk I in a gossip's howl, In very likeness of a roasted crab, And when she drinks against her lips I bob. Shakspeare. 3. One who runs about tattling like women at a lying To the office of a neighbour, 'Tis sung in ev'ry street, The common chat of gossips when they meet. Hudibras. Dryden. Besides, have we not the example of good King James, who though he involuntarily shuddered at the sight of a naked sword, was the Prince of dads and gos sips, and invariably styled so by his favourites, as well as his unfortunate son, who lost his life by a species of gossipry, and became the gossip of all succeeding gossips s? So much for the definition, now for the delineation of a Club of Queer Fellows, closely entwined with the thread of our discourse, who indulge their propensities at the public cost, and sometimes at their own. But, gentle reader, if you have any thing of human discrimination, any of the bowels of common charity within you, imagine not for a moment that these portraits are intended for you-they are but the sketches of fancy, which the writer appropriates to no one, and, by parity, which he hopes no one will be so innocent as to appropriate to himself-for if it be his luck to have a snuffle, a bottle nose, a paunch, or any remarkable or capricious whim of nature, the same belongs to five hundred others besides. Therefore, if thou findest a portrait that reflects thee in some ungracious point, keep thine own council, and do not proclaim aloud "That's me!" like the clown Grimaldi, when his son in the pantomime, appears in habiliments like his own. But to proceed-The first and most lively member of our Club is Tom Twaddle, a young man of some parts, the heads of whose family have made some noise in the world, as public speakers, the father being crier in a court of justice, and the mother an Emeralder of St. Giles's. But pedigree is no disparagement to talent; for Cardinal Wolsey was the son of a butcher, and Shakspeare was the son of a wool-comber, and Burns was a ploughman, and Speed the historian, as also Stowe, the learned antiquary, were tailors-and Homer himself had no fa. ther, though his mother afterwards found a husband in a citizen of Smyrna, who adopted the child as his son, yet seven cities contended for the honour of having given Homer birth. "Mr. Twaddle was brought up to the quill: his father being, as above set forth, zealous in his calling, was anxious to behold his son become a limb of the law. The reader knows that this is a spirit-stirring profession, but Tom could not be prevailed on to study law, at least so that instead of Coke upon Lyttelton, you would find Tom studying a romance, or the drama. His father having heard, and by repetition fixed in his memory the sentiment, of the poet, "just as the twig is bent" attempted to incline his son to his own favourite profession, but in this, his skill in human horticulture failed: for Tom waved on in the oppo site direction, attending plays and private theatricals till an opportunity occurred, when our hero was to launch out on that stage, which, as the great bard says, is so nearly connected with "all the world."He joined a company of strolling players, where frequent scenes of many-coloured life" he saw, till incurring expences in a favourite town in which he performed, beyond his means, he was soon compelled to make "panting law toil after him in vain." He then found it necessary to bid adieu to the old world for the new; and this will account for his being introduced into the Society of the Gossips. "He is a deep politician-he predicts that America shall possess, at no very distant period, the whole of the western world, and that the Autocrat of all the Russias will lay his paw over the rest of Europe. You may perceive, by the freedom with which he censures ministers, that he attaches no difficulty to governing. He is a finished gossip-in fact, with the ebullitions of a family squabble or the affairs of state he affects to be equally conversant. I have heard him say, that he could manage the helm of government like that of a cock-boat, and it were a pity to doubt his word. He is no small person (and who is ?) in his own estimation. He is famed for spinning a long yarn, in seamen phraseology, and you will sometimes find him with a close hold of a friend's button, to rivet his bodily if not his mental attention to the subject. But with all his bustle, twitting, and gossip, Tom means well, and has a good heart it is not wanton and insinuating scandal that characterises the gossip of Mr. Twaddle: for, like Mr. Harmony in the play, I have heard him defend an absent member, when harshly defamed, in terms that would make the defamer relent.-"Ah!" said he to one of this description, "if you knew how differently, on all occasions, he is disposed to be towards you, you would be more merciful to him."Such is a hasty portrait of Mr. Thomas Twaddle. Biography. ECCENTRIC CHARACTER. The late Mr. Calfe, in early youth, showed few signs of his great abilities; he was even SO remarkably unpromising, that he was considered incapable of succeeding to a small independence left him by his uncle. His relatives had the cause tried at York, in the year 1750, and many supposed that he would be declared an ideot.Among various questions (to prove whether he had sense or not,) he was asked in court how many legs a sheep had. Do you mean, he replied, a. live one or a dead one? a live one has four, a dead one only two; the others become the shoulders.By this uncommon display of a great capacity, he was ranked by the vulgar as one of those characters who have sense but seldom show it; and he was suffered to succeed to his estate without further molestation. He now became a poet, a philosopher, and an antiquary. He celebrated in verse a certain liquor drank rather freely by the ladies of fashion in York, and though they modestly called it vapour water, he proved it to be pure French brandy.He declared perpetual motion consisted in his wife's tongue; and on account of his veneration for antiquities, the colour of his inexpressibles was green, in strict imitation of Adam. He was nearly hung thrice; first, for shooting at a chimney sweeper, whom he mistook for the devil; secondly, for stealing a halter with something alive at the end of it; and, thirdly, by having suspended himself, in order to write a more perfect description of death. He kept a raven in a large iron cage, to ascertain whether or not it would live 700 years. He only once in his life visited the theatre. He was much delighted, with, tha music at the beginning, and observing two actors come forth (in the first scene) who spoke in rather a low tone, he deliberately left the place, observing, that perhaps those gentlemen might wish to talk secrets. Though he was extremely singular in his dress, notwithstanding the impulse of fashion or the earnest entreaties of his friends, he never could be prevailed upon to wear a tail. He proved beyond all doubt, that man never attempted to sing until he heard the nightingale; he allowed the Greenlander to scalp the bear, and wear its shaggy honours; he suffered the Calmuck Tartar to dress in sheep skin, and the Ostiacks to decorate their heads with horns; but he could not contain his indignation when he thought that the Europeans, a civilized people, should borrow fashions from animals, and particularly that of the tail, a part of all others the most vulgar, the most ridiculous, and the most disgusting. Notwithstanding his eccen tricity of manners, he was elected alderman of York, a station which he filled for thirteen years.. He died in 1788, and lies buried in St. Michael's church in York. On his tomb is this inscription :— "Here rests the body of John Calfe, Esq. who lived 49 years in this world, 13 of which he was alderman of York. "Honour, Honour, Honour." These lines are very fine, but I have to remark that A poet passed and saw them, And wrote these lines below them : "Ob Death! more subtle than a fox, He might have graz'd 'mid briars and thorns, I am, Sir, your obedient servant, 0, 0, 0. ATTICUS, Titus Pomponius, a Roman knight, was decended from an ancient family, He assisted Marius the younger, and preserved the friendship of his adversary Sylla. In the contest between Cæsar and Pompey, he kept the friendship of both these generals; and he did the same with regard to Brutus and Antony. In the contentions between Antony and Augustus, he not only kept himself in quietness, but enjoyed the esteem of each. He was greatly beloved by Cicero, and effected a reconciliation between him and Hortensius. His daughter was married to Agrippa. He starved himself to death at the age of 77, B. C. 54. CARROUACES, was a clockmaker of Pavia, who made a clock for Alciat, the hammer of which, on striking the bell, struck fire from a flint, which kindled a match and gave light to a lamp all at once. |