Tuesday, December 6. -Was perplexed to fee the vanity and levity of profeffed christans. Spent the evening with a chriftian friend, that was able in fome measure to fym pathize with me in my spiritual conflicts. Was a little refreshed to find one with whom I could converse of inward trials, &c.

Wednesday, December 7.-Spent the evening in perplex. ity, with a kind of guilty indolence. When I have no heart or refolution for God and the duties incumbent on me, I feel guilty of negligence and mifimprovement of time. Certainly I ought to be engaged in my work and business, to the utmost extent of my itrength and ability.

Thursday, December 8.-My mind was much distracted with different affections. Seemed to be at an amazing distance from God. And looking round in the world, to fee if there was not fome happinefs to be derived from it, God, and fome certain objects in the world, feemed each to invite my heart and affections; and my foul feemed to be distracted between them. I have not been fo much be, fet with the world for a long time; and that with relation to fome particular objects which I thought myself most dead to. But even while I was defiring to please myself with any thing below, guilt, forrow and perplexity attended the first motions of defire. Indeed I cannot fee the appearance of pleasure and happiness in the world, as I ufed to do: And bleffed be God for any habitual deadnefs to the world. I found no peace, or deliverance from this diftraction and perplexity of mind, until I found accef's to the throne of grace. And as foon as I had any fenfe of God and things divine, the allurements of the world vanished, and my heart was determined for God. But my foul mourned over my folly, that I fhould defire any pleafure, but only in God. God forgive my spiritual idolatry.

Saturday, December 24.-Had fome affiftance, and longing defires after fanétification, in prayer, this day; especially in the evening: Was fenfible of my own weaknefs and fpiritual impotency; faw plainly, I fhould fall into fin, if God of his abundant mercy did not uphold my foul, and withhold me from evil. O that God would uphold me by his free fpirit, and fave me from the hour of temptation. Lord's Day, December 25.- Prayed much, in the morning, with a feeling fenfe of my own fpiritual weakness and

infufficiency for any duty. God gave me some alitance. in preaching to the Indians; and especially in the afternoon, when I was enabled to speak with uncommon plain. nefs, freedom, and earnestness. Bleffed be God for any affitance granted to one fo unworthy. Afterwards felt fome thankfulnefs: but still fenfible of barrenness. Spent fome time in the evening, with one or two perfons under Spiritual concern, and exhorting others to their duty, &c.

Monday, December 26.- Rode down to Stockbridge. Was very much fatigued with my journey, wherein I underwent great hardship: Was much expofed and very wet by falling into a river. Spent the day and evening without much fenfe of divine and heavenly things; but felt guilty, grieved, and perplexed with wandering care. lefs thoughts.

Tuesday, December 27.—Had a small degree of warmth in fecret prayer, in the evening: But, alas, had but little fpiritual life, and confequently but little comfort! O, the preffure of a body of death!

Wednesday, December 28.-Rode about fix miles, to the ordination of Mr. Hopkins. In the feafon of the folemnity was somewhat affected with a fenfe of the greatness and importance of the work of a minister of Christ. Afterwards was grieved to see the vanity of the multitude. In the evening, fpent a litle time with fome chriftian friends, with fome degree of fatisfaction; but most of the time had rather have been alone.

Thursday, December 29 -Spent the day mainly in con.. verting with friends; yet enjoyed little fatisfaction, becaufe I could find but few difpofed to converse of divine and heavenly things. Alas, what are things of this world, to afford fatisfaction to the foul! Near night, returned to Stockbridge; in fecret bleffed God for retirement, and that I be not always expofed to the company and converfation of the world. O that I could live in the fecret of God's prefence!

Friday, December 30-Was in a folemn devout frame in the evening Wondered that earth with all its charms, fhould ever allure me in the least degree. O that I could always realize the being and holiness of God.

Saturday, December 31.--Rode from Stockbridge, home to my houfe: The air was clear and calm, but as cold as

David by his trials: All bitterness and defire of revenge feemed wholly taken away; so that he mourned for the death of his enemies; 2 Sam. i. 17. and iv. 9. ad fin. Was enabled to blefs God, that he had given me fomething of this divine temper, that my foul treely forgives, and heartily loves my enemies.

[It appears by his Diary for the remaining part of this week, and for the two following weeks, that great part of the time he was very ill and full of pain; and yet obliged through his circumstances, in this ill ftate of body, to be at great fatigues, in labour, and travelling day and night, and to expose himself, in ftormy and fevere feafons. He, from time to time, within this fpace, speaks of outgoings of foul after God; his heart ftrengthened in God; feafons of divine sweetness and comfort; his heart affected with gratitude for mercies, &c. And yet there are many complaints of lifeleffness, weakness of grace, distance from God, and great unprofitablenefsa But till there appears a conftant care, from day to day, not to lofe time, but to improve it all for God.]

Lord's Day, November 27. In the evening, was greatly affected in reading an account of the very joyful death of a pious gentleman; which feemed to invigorate my foul in God's ways: I felt conrageoufly engaged to purfue a life of holiness and self denial as long as I live; and poured out my foul to God tor his help and affittance in order thereto. Eternity then feemed near, and my foul rejoiced, and longed to meet it. O, I truft, that will be a blessed day, that finishes my toil here!

Monday, November 28.-In the evening, was obliged to spend time in company and converfation that was unprofitable. Nothing lies heavier upon me, than the misimprovement of time.

Was per

Tuesday, November 29.-Began to ftudy the Indian tongue with Mr. Sargeant, at Stockbridge.* plexed for want of more retirement. I love to live alone

*The Commiffioners that employed him, had directed him to spend much time that winter with Mr. Sargeant, to learn the language of the Indians; which neceffitated him very often to ride, backwards and forwards, 20 miles

in my own little cottage, where I can spend much time in prayer, &c.

Wednesday, November 30.-Pursued my ftudy of Indian: But was very weak and disordered in body, and was troubled in mind at the barrennefs of the day, that I had done fo little for God. I had fome enlargement in prayer at night. O, a barn, or ftable, hedge or any other place, is truly defirable, if God is there! Sometimes, of late, my hopes of Zion's profperity are more raised, than they were in the fummer past. My foul feems to confide in God, that he will yet fhew forth his falvation to his people, and make Zion the joy of the whole earth. O how excellent is the loving kindness of the Lord! My foul fometimes inwardly exults at the lively thoughts of what God has already done for his church, and what mine eyes have feen of the falvation of God. It is fweet, to hear nothing but fpiritu al difcourfe from God's children; and finners inquiring the way to Zion, faying, What hall we do, &c ? O that I may fee more of this bleffed work!

Thur/day, December -Both morning and evening, I enjoyed fome intenfenefs of foul in prayer, and longed for the enlargement of Chrift's kingdom in the world. My foul feems of late, to wait on God for his bleffing on Zion. O that religion might powerfully revive!

Friday, December 2.-Enjoyed not fo much health of body, or fervour of mind as yesterday. If the chariot wheels move with ease and fpeed at any time, for a fhort fpace; yet by and by they drive heavily again. Q that had the wings of a dove, that I might fly away from fin and corruption, and be at reft in God!

Saturday, December 3-Rode home, to my house and people. Suffered much with the extreme cold. I trust, I fhall, before long, arrive safe at my journey's end, where my toils fhall ceafe.

Lord's Day, December 4-Had but little fense of divine and heavenly things. My foul mourns over my barrennefs. O how fad is spiritual deadness !

through the uninhabited woods between Stockbridge and Kaunaumeek ; which many times expofed him to extreme, hardship in the fevere feasons of the winter.

ever I felt it in the world, or near. I was in great danger of perifling by the extremity of the feafon. Was enabled to meditate much on the road.

Lord's Day, January 1, 1744 -In the morning, had fome fmail degree of affittance in prayer. Saw myfelf so vile and unworthy, that I could not look my people in the face, when I came to preach. O my meanness, folly, ignorance, and inward pollution! In the evening, had a little affistance in prayer, fo that the duty was delightfome, rather than burdenfome. Reflected on the goodness of God to me in the past year, &c. Blessed be the Lord, that has carried me through all the toils, fatigues, and hardships of the year paft, as well as the fpiritual forrows and conflicts that have attended it. O that I could begin this year with God, and spend the whole of it to his glo ry, either in life or death.

Monday, January 2.-Had fome affecting fenfe of my own impotency and fpiritual weakness. It is nothing but the power of God that keeps me from all manner of wickednefs. I fee I am nothing, and can do nothing without help from above. O, for divine grace! In the evening, had fome ardour of foul in prayer, and longing defires to have God for my guide and fafeguard at all times.

Wednesday, January 4,-Was in a refigned and morti→ fiel temper of mind much of the day. Time appeared a moment, life a vapour, and all its enjoyments as empty bubbles, and fleeting blafts of wind.

Thursday, January 5.-Had a humbling and preffing fenfe of my unworthinefs, My fenfe of the badnefs of my own heart filled my foul with bitterness and anguish; which was ready to fink, as under the weight of a heavy burden. And thus fpent the evening, until late. Was fomewhat intenfe and ardent in prayer.

Friday, January 6.-Feeling and confidering my extreme weakness, and want of grace, the pollution of my foul and danger of temptations on every fide, I fet apart this day for fafting and prayer, neither eating nor drinking from evening to evening, befeeching God to have mercy on me. And my foul intenfely longed, that the dreadful fpots and ftains of fin might be waihed away from it. Saw fomething of the power and all fufficiency of God, My foul feemed to reft on his power and grace; longed