From the time of his examination by the Correfpond ents of the Society for propagating Chriftian Knowledge, and being appointed their MISSIONAKY, to his first entrance on the business of his misfion among the Indians at Kaunameek.

Friday, November 26.-Had ftill a fenfe of my great vilenefs, and endeavoured as much as I could to keep alone. O, what a nothing, what duft and afhes am I! Enjoyed fome peace and comfort in spreading my complaints before the God of all grace.

Saturday, November 27.-Committed my foul to God with fome degree of comfort; left New York about nine in the morning; came away with a diftreffing fenfe till of my unspeakable unworthinefs. Surely I may well love all my brethren; for none of them all is fo vile as I; whatever they do outwardly, yet it seems to me none is con fcious of fo much guilt before God. O my leanness, my barrenness, my carnality, and past bitterness, and want of a gospel temper! Thefe things opprefs my foul. Rode from New-York, thirty miles, to White Plains, and most of the way continued lifting up my heart to God for mer. cy and purifying grace; and spent the evening much dejected in fpirit.

[The three next days, he continued in this frame, in a great fenfe of his own vileness, with an evident mixture of melancholy, in no fmall degree; but had fome intervals of comfort and God's fenfible prefence with him.]

Wednesday, December 1.- My foul breathed after God, in fweet fpiritual and longing defires of conformity to him; my foul was brought to reft itself and all on his rich grace, and felt frength and encouragement to do or fuffer any thing that divine Providence fhould allot me. Rode about twenty miles from Stratfield to Newton.

[Within the space of the next nine days, he went a journey from Newton to Haddam, his native town; and after ftaying there fome days, returned again into the "wetterp part of Connecticut, and came to Southbury. In

his account of the frames and exercises of his mind, during this fpace of time, are fuch things as thefe: Frequent turns of dejection, a fenfe of his vilenefs, emptinefs, and unfathomable abyfs of defperate wickedness in his heart, attend. ed with a conviction that he had never feen but little of it; bitterly mourning over his barrennefs, being greatly griev ed that he could not live to God, to whom he owed his all ten thousand times; crying out, My leannefs, my leannefs! a fenfe of the meetnefs and fuitableness of his lying in the duft beneath God's feet; fervency and ardour in prayer; longing to live to God, and being afflicted with some impertinent trifling conversation that he heard but enjoying fweetness in chriftian conversation. J

Saturday, December 11.-Conversed with a dear friend, to whom I had thought of giving a liberal education, and being at the whole charge of it, that he might be fitted for the gospel ministry. I acquainted him with my thoughts in that matter, and fo left him to confider of it, until I fhould fee him again. Then I rode to Bethlehem, and came to Mr. Bellamy's lodgings; fpent the evening with him in fweet converfation and prayer: We recommended

*Mr. Brainerd having now undertaken the business of a Miffionary to the Indians, and expecting in a little time to leave his native country, to go among the Savages, into the wilderness, far diftant, and spend the remainder of his life among them, and having fome eftate left him by his father, and thinking he should have no occation for it among them, (though afterwards he told me he found himself mistaken) he fet himself to think which way he might spend it most to the glory of God; and no way pre fenting to his thoughts, wherein he could do more good with it, than by being at the charge of educating fome young perfon for the ministry, that appeared to be of good abilities and well difpofed, he pitched upon this perfon here fpoken of, to this end: Who accordingly was foon put to learning; and Mr. Brainerd continued to be at the charge of his education from year to year as long as he (Mr. Brainerd) lived, which was until this young man was carried through his third year in college.

the important concern before mentioned (of fending my friend to college) unto the God of all grace.

Bieffed be

the Lord for this evening's opportunity together.

Lord's Day, December 12.—I felt, in the morning, as if I had little or no power either to pray or preach, and felt a ditreffing need of divine help: I went to meeting trem. bling But it pleafed God to affit me in prayer and fermon: I think my foul scarce ever penetrated fo far into the immaterial world, in any one prayer that ever I made, nor were my devotions ever so much refined, and free from grofs conceptions, and imaginations framed from beholding material objects. I preached with fome sweetnefs, from Matth. vi. 33. But feek ye firft &c. the afternoon from Rom. xv. 30. And now I beseech you, brethren, &c. There was much affection in the affembly. This has been a fweet Sabbath to me: And bleffed be God, I have reason to think that my religion has become more refined and spiritual, by means of my late inward conflicts. Amen! May I always be willing that God fhould ufe his own methods with me.

And in

Monday, December 13. —Joined in prayer with Mr. Bellamy; and found fweetnefs and compofure in parting with him, who went a journey. Enjoyed fome fweetness through the day, and just at night rode down to Woodbury

Tuesday, December 14.-Some perplexity hang on my mind: Was ditreffed laft night and this morning for the interest of Zion, especially on account of the falle appearances of religion, that do but rather breed confufion, efpecially in fome places. I cried to God for help, to enable me to bear teftimony against those things, which in ftead of promoting, do but hinder the progrefs of vital piety. In the afternoon, rode down to Southbury, and converfed again with my friend about the important affair of his following the work of the miniftry; and he ap. peared much inclined to devote himself to that work, if God fhould fucceed his attempts to qualify himself for fo great a work. In the evening, I preached from 1 Theff. iv. 8 and endeavoured, though with tenderness, to under. mine falfe religion. The Lord gave me tome affiance; but, however, I feemed fo vile, I was athamed to be feen when I came out of the meeting house,

Wednesday, December 15.-Enjoyed fomething of God, to day, both in fecret and focial prayer; but was fenfible of much barrennefs, and defect in duty, as well as my inability to help myself for the time to come, or to perform the work and business I have to do. Afterwards, felt much of the sweetnefs of religion, and the tenderness of the gospel temper; was far from bitterness, and found a dear love to all mankind, and was afraid of fcarcely any thing fo much as left fome motion of anger or resentment fhould fome time or other creep into my heart. Had fome comforting foul refreshing difcourfe with fome dear friends, just as we took our leave of each other, and fuppofed it might be likely we fhould not meet again until we came to the eternal world.. But I doubt not, through grace, but that fome of us fhall have a happy meeting there, and bleis God for this feafon, as well as many others. Amen.

Thursday, December 16.-Rode down to Derby; had fome fweet thoughts on the road: My thoughts were very clear, efpecially on the effence of our falvation by Chrift, from thofe words, Thou shalt call his name Jefus, &c.

Friday, December 17.-Spent much time in sweet con verfation on fpiritual things with dear Mr. Humphreys. Rode to Ripton; fpent fome time in prayer with dear chriftian friends.

Saturday, December 18.-Spent much time in prayer in the woods: Seemed raised above the things of the world; My foul was ftrong in the Lord of hofts: But was fenfible of great barrennefs.,

Lord's Day, December 19-At the facrament of the Lord's fupper, feemed ftrong in the Lord; and the world with all its frowns and flatteries in a great measure difap. peared, fo that my foul had nothing to do with them;

It had been determined by the Commiffioners, who employed Mr. Brainerd as a Millionary, that he should go as foon as might be conveniently, to the Indians living near the Forks of Delaware river in Pennsylvania, and the Indians on Sufquehannah river; which being far off, where he would be expofed to many hardships and dangers; this was the occafion of his taking leave of his friends in this

manner.

and I felt a difpofition to be wholly and forever the Lord's. In the evening, enjoyed fomething of the divine prefence ; had a humbling fenfe of my vileness, barrenness and finfulness, O, it wounded me, to think of the mifimprovement of time! God be merciful to me a finner..

Monday, December 20.-Spent this day in prayer, reading, and writing; and enjoyed fome affifiance, efpecially in correcting fome thoughts on a certain subject; but had a mournful fense of my barrenness.

Tuesday, December 21.-Had a sense of my infufficiency of any public work and business, as well as to live to God. I rode over to Derby, and preached there: It pleased God to give me very fweet affiftance and enlargement, and to enable me to speak with a foft and tender power and ener. gy. We had afterwards a comfortable evening in finging and prayer: God enabled me to pray with as much fpirituality and fweetness as I have done for fome time: My mind feemed to be unclothed of fente and imagination, and was in a measure let into the immaterial world of fpirits. This day and evening was, I trust, through infi. nite goodness, made very profitable to a number of us, to advance our fouls in holiness and conformity to God: The glory be o him forever. Amen. How bleffed it is to grow more and more like God!

Wednesday, December 22.-Enjoyed fome affiftance in preaching at Ripton; but my foul mourned within me for my bariennefs.

Thursday, December 23.-Enjoyed, I truft, fomething of God this morning in fecret. O how divinely sweet it is to come into the fecret of his prefence, and abide in his pavilion! Took an affectionate leave of friends, not expecting to fee them again for a very confiderable time, if ever in this world. Rode with Mr. Humphreys to his houfe at Derby ; fpent the time in fweet conversation; my foul was refreshed and fweetly melted with divine things. O that I was always confecrated to God. Near night, I rode to New Haven, and there enjoyed fome fweetness in prayer and converfation, with fome dear christian friends: My mind was sweetly serious and com. pofed: But alas, I too much loft the fenfe of divine things!

[He continued much in the fame frame of mind, and in the like exercises, the two following days.]