An' Father Victor 'elps 'im with our Roman Catholicks He knows an 'eap of Irish songs an' rummy conjurin' tricks; An' the two they works together when it comes to play or pray; So we keep the ball a-rollin' on ten deaths a day. We've got the cholerer in camp-we've got it 'ot an' sweet; It ain't no Christmas dinner, but it's 'elped an' we must eat. We've gone beyond the funkin', 'cause we've found it doesn't pay, An' we're rockin' round the Districk on ten deaths a day! Then strike your camp an' go, the Rains are fallin', The Bugle's callin'! The dead are bushed an' stoned to keep 'em safe below! An' them that do not like it they can lump it, Then, Number One, let down the tent-pole slow, (Gawd 'elp us!) THE LADIES I'VE taken my fun where I've found it; I've 'ad my pickin' o' sweet'earts, An' four o' the lot was prime. Now I aren't no 'and with the ladies, You never can say till you've tried 'em, There's times when you'll know that you But the things you will learn from the Yellow an' Brown, They'll 'elp you a lot with the White! 1 Head-groom. I was a young un at 'Oogli, Then I was ordered to Burma, Actin' in charge o' Bazar, Through buyin' supplies off 'er pa. But we lived on the square, like a true-married pair, An' I learned about women from 'er! Then we was shifted to Neemuch (Or I might ha' been keepin' 'er now), An' I took with a shiny she-devil, The wife of a nigger at Mhow; 'Taught me the gipsy-folks' bolee;1 Kind o' volcano she were, For she knifed me one night 'cause I wished she was white, And I learned about women from 'er! 1 Slang. THE LADIES Then I come 'ome in the trooper, The straightest I ever 'ave seen. An' I wouldn't do such, 'cause I liked 'er too much, But I learned about women from 'er! I've taken my fun where I've found it, For the more you 'ave known o' the others An' the end of it's sittin' and thinkin', An' dreamin' Hell-fires to see; So be warned by my lot (which I know you will not), An' learn about women from me! What did the Colonel's Lady think? Somebody asked the Sergeant's wife, When you get to a man in the case, For the Colonel's Lady an' Judy O'Grady BILL 'AWKINS "As anybody seen Bill 'Awkins ? ” "Now 'ow in the devil would I know?" "'E's taken my girl out walkin', An' I've got to tell 'im so Gawd-bless-'im! I've got to tell 'im so." "D'yer know what 'e's like, Bill 'Awkins?" "Now what in the devil would I care?" "'E's the livin', breathin' image of an organgrinder's monkey, With a pound of grease in 'is 'air— An' a pound o' grease in 'is 'air." "An' s'pose you met Bill 'Awkins, Now what in the devil 'ud ye do?" "I'd open 'is cheek to 'is chin-strap buckle, An' bung up 'is both eyes, too Gawd-bless-'im! An' bung up 'is both eyes, too!" |