N". XXII.

AN IRISH MURDER!

Murder will out!

"A FEW days ago, a very interesting-looking girl, the inmate of a pretty white-washed cabin near the town of Newry, was seen weeping, and heard lamenting, in the most bitter manner. She ran in a distracted state across some fields which intervene between her dwelling and the main road. Her fine black hair streamed in neglected luxuriance: the wind swept through its confused mazes; and such wildness was lent to her countenance by the dishevelled state of her tresses, that every beholder stood electrified with wonder.

"I have gazed on that girl's mild dark eyes with pleasure; I viewed them at this time with terror: they were suffused with tears, and through

the diamond-like drops that gushed from them, the glances of a fury flashed upon the sight. Her voice is really a sweet one; and I have sometimes thought there was music in its silver tones-but we may be still the same, and yet how different! It was now the hoarse scream of rage. "O dear! och hone! oh, gentlemen!' cried she, do come, come all of yez, and see the murder at our house.'

"I leaped over a ditch without looking on the other side, which I certainly should not have done, had the black-eyed girl not made me forget the old adage. Two sailors, who were accidentally passing, felt the same emotion of alarm as I, and made the same rash experiment. my eyes, Jack,' roared one of them, but I'm overboard.' Here, Tom,' said Jack, is a rope'send for you;' and he handed his comrade from the depth to which he had tumbled.

"We all followed poor Mary, who was sobbing before us, Oh the murder! the murder at our house!' By this time, a great crowd had collected on the old Warrenpoint road, before her door. There she stood for some time, wringing

her hands, and addressing every one she knew. "O dear,' said she, what will we do! We can't

live here. Och dear, dear! we'll all be kilt out and out!' What is the matter?' looked every

one.

'What is the matter, in the name of wonder?' said I. O, look at the murder-all of yez look at the murder!' cried Mary. Och hone,' continued she, fixing her eyes on the dead body of a hen; misfortunate cratur! but you were sorely taken at a short!' and her tears flowed, and her grief appeared to surpass itself.

6 It was, in fact, all about a HEN! The crowd dispersed in a burst of laughter, and the two jolly tars went off, making the air ring. Well, shiver my topsails,' said Tom to Jack, but she must have been a game hen.'-' Aye, aye,' said Jack, 'she laid two eggs a-day.' Now, how this hen came by her death remains to be told.

"It has been often observed, that near neighbours disagree. I am surprised that so many philosophers should wonder at it, seeing that it is more likely they should fall out than distant ones. Mary's father is an honest labourer, and the slayer of her hen is the daughter of a reputable

carman, who lives just beside him of the spade. He of the whip was carting, and he of the spade was delving away to increase and multiply, what has been termed by a sapient one in Parliament, the cause of our national misery, when this henslaughter was perpetrated. The carman's daughter bought her comforts with duck-eggs, whilst Mary preferred hen's. Who can think of young ducks without green peas? She whose father keeps a horse, had bought some of Clark's best hotspurs, and raked them into a nice bed in her garden, with all the smoothness and taste of a female hand. Now, your hen is a sore enemy to peas. By nature a scraper, Mary's egg-layer scraped away till she deranged the whole economy of Kitty's bed. Kitty blustered, and threatened, and scolded; and at last, with a stone, she took that from poor chucky which she could not give. The grief and rage of Mary have been described. Kitty protested solemnly that the stone struck the hen accidentally, having been thrown merely to frighten her away; but Mary would not listen to any apology. The body of the hen was regularly waked, and the howl raised over its grave by

Mary's sisters, Rosy, Cicily, and Ann. All Mary's friends espoused her quarrel, and vengeance was deeply and secretly sworn. They, in the first place, attacked the carman's cat, which they found trespassing on the labourer's garden; secondly, they killed Kitty's drake; and thirdly, Kitty's ducklings and their mother (not a lame duck) were found by Mary at her father's stream, and seized to be put in pound. Kitty, supported by her friends, rescued the ducklings from durance vile, for which Mary tore her face and hair with her nails.

"Such scolding and clawing have not been heard and seen for many a day as followed. In short, one of the female combatants stripped off her gown, and, wonderful to relate, offered to fight a-la-mode de Belcher.

"The direful consequence was, that the mother of Mary, and the pretty black-eyed Mary herself, and her sisters Cicily, Rosy, and Ann, were apprehended and brought to trial the other day, when many of the foregoing circumstances came out, to the no small amusement of a crowded court. Your lawyers are fond of a joke, and they