Hostess. Good Captain Peesel, be quiet; 't is very late, i' faith: I beseek you now, aggravate your choler. Pistol. These be good humours, indeed! Shall packhorses And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia, Which cannot go but thirty mile a-day, Compare with Cæsars, and with Cannibals, And Trojan Greeks? nay, rather damn them with Shall we fall foul for toys? 130 Hostess. By my troth, captain, these are very bitter words. Bardolph. Be gone, good ancient; this will grow to a brawl anon. Pistol. Die men like dogs! give crowns like pins! Have we not Hiren here? 139 Hostess. O' my word, captain, there's none such here. What the good-year! do you think I would deny her? For God's sake, be quiet. Pistol. Then feed, and be fat, my fair Calipolis. Si fortune me tormente, sperato me contento. [Laying down his sword. Come we to full points here, and are etceteras nothing? Falstaff. Pistol, I would be quiet. 149 Pistol. Sweet knight, I kiss thy neif. What! we have seen the seven stars. Doll. For God's sake, thrust him down stairs; I cannot endure such a fustian rascal. Pistol. Thrust him down stairs! know we not Galloway nags? Falstaff. Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove - groat shilling; nay, an a' do nothing but speak nothing, a' shall be nothing here. Bardolph. Come, get you down stairs. 159 Pistol. What! shall we have incision? shall we imbrue?— [Snatching up his sword. Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful days! Why, then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds Untwine the Sisters Three! Come, Atropos, I say! Hostess. Here's goodly stuff toward! Falstaff. Give me my rapier, boy. Doll. I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee, do not draw. 167 [Drawing, and driving Pistol out. Hostess. Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping house, afore I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murther, I warrant now.-Alas, alas! put up your naked weapons, put up your naked weapons. [Exeunt Pistol and Bardolph. Doll. I pray thee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal's gone. Ah, you whoreson little valiant villain, you! 173 Hostess. Are you not hurt i' the groin? methought a' made a shrewd thrust at your belly. Re-enter BARDOLPH. Falstaff. Have you turned him out o' doors? Bardolph. Yea, sir. The rascal's drunk. You have hurt him, sir, i' the shoulder. Falstaff. A rascal! to brave me! 179 Doll. Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, poor ape, how thou sweatest! come, let me wipe thy face;-come on, you whoreson chops.-Ah, rogue! i' faith, I love thee; thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better than the Nine Worthies. Ah, villain! Falstaff. A rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket. Enter Music. Page. The music is come, sir. Falstaff. Let them play.-Play, sirs.-A rascal bragging slave! the rogue fled from me like quicksilver. 190 Doll. I' faith, and thou followedst him like a church. Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, when wilt thou leave fighting and foining, and begin to patch up thine old body for heaven? Enter, behind, PRINCE HENRY and POINS, disguised. Falstaff. Peace, good Doll! do not speak like a death'shead; do not bid me remember mine end. Doll. Sirrah, what humour 's the prince of? Falstaff. A good shallow young fellow; a' would have made a good pantler, a' would ha' chipped bread well. Doll. They say Poins has a good wit. 200 Falstaff. He a good wit? hang him, baboon! his wit 's as thick as Tewksbury mustard; there's no more conceit in him than is in a mallet. Doll. Why does the prince love him so, then? Falstaff. Because their legs are both of a bigness, and a' plays at quoits well, and eats conger and fennel, and drinks off candles' ends for flap-dragons, and rides the wild-mare with the boys, and jumps upon joined-stools, and swears with a good grace, and wears his boots very smooth, like unto the sign of the leg, and breeds no bate with telling of discreet stories; and such other gambol faculties a' has, that show a weak mind and an able body, for the which the prince admits him for the prince himself is such another; the weight of a hair will turn the scales between their avoirdupois. 214 Prince. Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off? Poins. Let's beat him. Prince. Look, whether the withered elder hath not his poll clawed like a parrot. Falstaff. Kiss me, Doll. Prince. Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! what says the almanac to that? 221 Poins. And, look, whether the fiery Trigon, his man, be not lisping to his master's old tables, his note-book, his counsel-keeper. Falstaff. Thou dost give me flattering busses. Doll. By my troth, I kiss thee with a most constant heart. Falstaff. I am old, I am old. Doll. I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young boy of them all. 229 A Falstaff. What stuff wilt have a kirtle of? I shall receive money o' Thursday; thou shalt have a cap to-morrow. merry song, come! it grows late. Thou 'lt forget me when I am gone. Doll. By my troth, thou 'lt set me a-weeping, an thou sayest so prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return.—Well, hearken the end. Falstaff. Some sack, Francis. Prince. Poins. } Anon, anon, sir. [Coming forward. Falstaff. Ha! a bastard son of the king's?—And art not thou Poins his brother? 240 Prince. Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a life dost thou lead! Falstaff. A better than thou; I am a gentleman, thou art a drawer. Prince. Very true, sir; and I come to draw you out by the ears. Hostess. O, the Lord preserve thy good grace! by my troth, welcome to London.-Now, the Lord bless that sweet face of thine! O Jesu, are you come from Wales? Falstaff. Thou whoreson mad compound of majesty, by this light flesh and corrupt blood, thou art welcome. Doll. How, you fat fool! I scorn you. 251 Poins. My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge and turn all to a merriment, if you take not the heat. Prince. You whoreson candle-mine, you, how vilely did you speak of me even now before this honest, virtuous, civil gentlewoman! Hostess. God's blessing of your good heart! and so she is, by my troth. Falstaff. Didst thou hear me? 260 Prince. Yea, and you knew me, as you did when you ran away by Gadshill; you knew I was at your back, and spoke it on purpose to try my patience. Falstaff. No, no, no, not so; I did not think thou wast within hearing. Prince. I shall drive you then to confess the wilful abuse ; and then I know how to handle you. Falstaff No abuse, Hal, o' mine honour; no abuse. Prince. Not to dispraise me, and call me pantler and bread-chipper and I know not what? Falstaff. No abuse, Hal. Poins. No abuse? 270 Falstaff. No abuse, Ned, i̇' the world; honest Ned, none. I dispraised him before the wicked, that the wicked might not fall in love with him; in which doing, I have done the part of a careful friend and a true subject, and thy father is to give me thanks for it. No abuse, Hal;—none, Ned, none:-no, faith, boys, none. Prince. See now, whether pure fear and entire cowardice doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with us? is she of the wicked? is thine hostess here of the wicked? or is thy boy of the wicked? or honest Bardolph, whose zeal burns in his nose, of the wicked? Poins. Answer, thou dead elm, answer. 283 Falstaff. The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph irrecoverable; and his face is Lucifer's privy-kitchen, where he doth nothing but roast malt-worms. For the boy, there is a good angel about him; but the devil outbids him too. Prince. For the women? Falstaff. For one of them, she is in hell already, and |