piety, and art enough, handled his subject, and the judicious clerk has with the utmost diligence called out two staves proper to the discourse, and I have found in myself and in the rest of the pew, good thoughts and dispositions, they have been, all in a 5 moment, dissipated by a merry jig from the organ loft. One knows not what further ill effects the epilogues I have been speaking of may in time produce; but this I am credibly informed of, that Paul Lorrain 7 has resolved upon a very sudden 10 reformation in his tragical dramas; and that, at the next monthly performance, he designs, instead of a penitential psalm, to dismiss his audience with. an excellent new ballad of his own composing. Pray, sir, do what you can to put a stop to these 15 growing evils, and you will very much oblige "Your humble servant, "PHYSIBULUS." No. 36. Will Honeycomb's Courtship SPECTATOR NO. 359. Tuesday, April 22, 1712 Torva leæna lupum sequitur, lupus ipse capellam; Virg. Ecl. vi. 63. As we were at the club last night, I observed that my old friend Sir Roger, contrary to his usual 20 custom, sat very silent, and, instead of minding what was said by the company, was whistling to himself in a very thoughtful mood, and playing with a cork. I jogged Sir Andrew Freeport, who sat between us; and, as we were both observing him, we saw the knight shake his head, and heard 5 him say to himself, "A foolish woman! I can't believe it." Sir Andrew gave him a gentle pat upon the shoulder, and offered to lay him a bottle of wine that he was thinking of the widow. My old friend started, and, recovering, out of his brown 10 study, told Sir Andrew, that once in his life he had 2 been in the right. In short, after some little hesitation, Sir Roger told us in the fulness of his heart, that he had just received a letter from his steward, which acquainted him that his old rival and antag15 onist in the country, Sir David Dundrum, had been making a visit to the widow. "However," says Sir Roger, "I can never think that she will have a man that's half a year older than I am, and a noted republican into the bargain." 20 Will Honeycomb, who looks upon love as his particular province, interrupting our friend with a jaunty laugh, "I thought, knight," said he, "thou hadst lived long enough in the world not to pin thy happiness upon one that is a woman, and a widow. 25 I think that, without vanity, I may pretend to know as much of the female world as any man in Great Britain; though the chief of my knowledge consists in this, that they are not to be known." Will immediately, with his usual fluency, rambled into an account of his own amours. "I am now," says he, "upon the verge of fifty" (though by the way we all knew he was turned of threescore). "You may easily guess," continued Will, "that I have not lived so long in the world without having 5 had some thoughts of settling in it, as the phrase is. To tell you truly, I have several times tried my fortune that way, though I cannot much boast of my success. "I made my first addresses to a young lady in 10 the country; but, when I thought things were pretty well drawing to a conclusion, her father happening to hear that I had formerly boarded with a surgeon, the old put forbade me his house, and within a fortnight after married his daughter to a fox-hunter 15 in the neighborhood. 3 4 "I made my next application to a widow, and attacked her so briskly, that I thought myself within a fortnight of her. As I waited upon her one morning, she told me, that she intended to keep 20 her ready money and jointure in her own hand, and desired me to call upon her attorney in Lyon's Inn, who would adjust with me what it was proper for me to add to it. I was so rebuffed by this overture, that I never inquired either for her or her 25 attorney afterwards. 5 "A few months after, I addressed myself to a young lady who was an only daughter, and of a good family. I danced with her at several balls, squeezed her by the hand, said soft things to her, and in short made no doubt of her heart; and, though my fortune was not equal to hers, I was in hopes that her fond father would not deny her the man she 5 had fixed her affections upon. But as I went one day to the house, in order to break the matter to him, I found the whole family in confusion, and heard, to my unspeakable surprise, that Miss Jenny was that very morning run away with the butler. "I then courted a second widow, and am at a loss to this day how I came to miss her, for she had often commended my person and behavior. Her maid indeed told me one day, that her mistress said she never saw a gentleman with such a spindle 15 pair of legs as Mr. Honeycomb. IO "After this I laid siege to four heiresses successively, and, being a handsome young dog in those days, quickly made a breach in their hearts; but I don't know how it came to pass, though I seldom 20 failed of getting the daughter's consent, I could never in my life get the old people on my side. "I could give you an account of a thousand other unsuccessful attempts, particularly of one which I made some years since upon an old woman, wom 25 I had certainly borne away with flying colors, if her relations had not come pouring in to her assistance from all parts of England; nay, I believe I should have got her at last, had not she been carried off by a hard frost." As Will's transitions are extremely quick, he turned from Sir Roger, and, applying himself to me, told me there was a passage in the book I had considered last Saturday," which deserved to be writ in letters of gold: and taking out a pocket Milton,' read the 5 following lines, which are part of one of Adam's speeches to Eve after the fall: Oh! why did our Creator wise! that peopled highest heaven By parents; or his happiest choice too late To human life, and household peace confound." Sir Roger listened to this passage with great attention; and, desiring Mr. Honeycomb to fold down a leaf at the place, and lend him his book, 10 the knight put it up in his pocket, and told us that he would read over these verses again before he I went to bed. |