CHAPTER II.

First Illness.

"It is not growing like a tree

In bulk doth make man better be;

Or standing long an oak, three hundred year,
To fall a log at last, dry, bald, and sere.

A lily of a day

Is fairer far in May.

Altho' it fall and die that night,

It was the plant and flower of light.

In small proportions we just beauties see;
And in short measures life may perfect be."

B. JONSON.

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FTER paying a short visit to her aunts in Leicester

shire, in the autumn of 1858, Gertrude returned to N, looking thin and poorly. Low fever that year prevailed everywhere about us; and in the course of a few weeks our darling fell seriously ill, the attack being considered to be the prevailing epidemic. The rest of the family went to our house in the country, and she was left to the care of her mother and nurse. She suffered much from sore throat and fever. But

sweet accounts constantly reached us of her patience and gratitude for all done for her.

At the end of a week or two, she was so far recovered as to be able to be lifted into the carriage, and taken to join the rest of us at -; in order that we might all be together as usual at Christmas. It was Christmas eve when the dear child was brought to the anxious ones, who were waiting for her and our mother round the Christmas fireside. And when the crackling blaze shone on our Gertrude's pale features, notwithstanding the sweet expression of thankfulness which they wore, we felt that she must indeed have suffered.

She was constantly attended by Dr, and Mr HThe latter took a serious view of her case; but still hoped that, with great care, she would ultimately recover.

On the 29th of December our greatly valued nurse was married. She had been with us 22 years, and Gertrude felt her leaving much. But she never shed tears. Tears, indeed, with her were a rare sight: owing, doubtless partly to a natural shrinking from display of feeling, but principally to her unwillingness to distress others.

Time went on, with little or no progress towards health. The appetite was nearly gone; her thinness

great. Dr pronounced the ailment to be an affection of the liver. Still he said there was no

danger. Mr H— took a different view; and was very doubtful of her state.

On the 15th of February we all, with our darling invalid, left, and returned to N-; still hoping that another change might be beneficial to her. Our hopes were not altogether disappointed. She began to improve.

How impressed upon one's memory is the humble patient disposition that characterised her whole illness! Sickness and suffering had greatly chastened and brought down her high and animated spirit; so that it could certainly now be an annoyance to no one.

She won the affections of all who saw her at this time. Her doctor's interest in and love for her was manifest. The kindness and attention shewn her by Mr E, a clergyman in N, was very marked. It gave her infinite pleasure to see or hear about him. A bunch of crocuses he brought her was treasured up, and planted by her own hand in a flower pot. Eagerly she watched each opening bud: and, when the flowering time was over, she carefully preserved the little bulb. for future springs. Mr E also lent her books; and a little bird, in which she took great delight.

On the 16th of March we all returned to

to take a final leave of the place, and spent a few days there. Our invalid seemed now to improve more rapidly; and some of her old bright spirit returned. She began to try a few lessons, and to amuse herself at the piano. Up to the middle of April she continued to make progress; cheering our mother's failing hopes, and once more lighting up our home circle.

But, alas! a relapse soon took place, and we were again in anxiety. Pain and suffering returned, and the doctor's carriage was daily at our door. She became so attenuated, that we had to bathe the skin with brandy to keep it whole. And yet (strange to say) the three medical men who attended her could not give a name to the wasting illness. Nor did they decidedly apprehend danger, though Mr H-'s opinion of the case was always unfavourable.

Under Divine blessing, however, she at length began again to mend slowly; and on the 18th of May went with her eldest sister to L- Hall, which was then being prepared for our future home. There she remained some little time; her mother and some others of the party driving daily to see her, and to spend most of the day with her. She passed her time in reading, working, and roaming about the

garden and grounds; delighting in the society of her nurse, who now lived at the Hall Lodge, and certainly improving daily in appearance and strength.

On the 3d of June, she was sufficiently well to pay some visits in Leicestershire with her mother and sisters. The change of air and scene were wonderfully beneficial to her; and she was once more foremost in cricket, fishing, and rowing on the river ;— quite her dear self again.

On the 8th of July, all returned to L-; and Gertrude began to study with her younger sister. In fact we almost ceased to look upon her as an invalid; though we felt the necessity for watching.

On the 29th was her birthday. How little did any of us dream that it was the last birth-day she would spend on earth! Her brother W who was devotedly attached to her, made, with the help of his youngest sister, a little throne in the garden, and decked it with evergreens. On this he placed Gertrude, crowning her with flowers Queen of the day; and many of us came, and did homage to the happy little queen, admiring her on her birthday throne.

On the 5th of August Gertrude, with most of the family, went to Scarborough; where she remained

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