A DESPERATE REMEDY.-In the State of Ohio | there resided a family, consisting of a man by the name of Beaver and his three sons, all of whom were hard cases, and who had often put to scora the advice and entreaties of a pious, though very eccentric minister, who resided in the same town. It happened one of the boys was bitten by a rattlesnake, and was expected to die, when the minister was sent for in great haste. On his arrival he found the young man very penitent and anxious to be prayed with. The minister, calling on the family, kuelt down, and prayed in this wise: thank Thee because a rattlesnake has bit Jim. We pray Thee to send a rattlesnake to bite John; Send one to bite Bill; send one to bite Sarn; and, O, Lord, send the biggest kind of a rattlesnake to bite the old man, for nothing but rattlesnakes will ever bring the Beaver family to repentance." "How rapidly they build houses now," said Cornelius to an old acquaintance, as he pointed to a neat two-story house-"they commenced that house only last week, and they are already putting in the lights." "Yes." rejoined the other, "and next week O, Lord, we thank Thee for rattlesnakes-wel they will put in the liver." 2 57 10 374 48 7 24 7 554 52 7 19 3 10 8 41 4 537 18 sets 9 19 4 54 7 18 9 57 4 55 7 17 8 40 9 8 9 34 A SAD CONTRAST.-A painter once met with a beautiful child. So enwrapped was he with its countenance and expression of loveliness, that he resolved to paint it. He made it his guardian angel. In sorrow and passion he sought relief and tranquillity in gazing upon that charming countenance. He purposed, if he ever saw its counte: part, to paint that also. But years passed away before he found a face so intensely ugly as to satisfy his idea of a perfect contrast to his darling picture. He painted that terrible picture. It was that of a wretch lying in despair, upon the floor of his cell. But what must have been his 8 110 10 5 22 6 41 8 0 8 25 H. M. S. RISES. SETS. F11 59 51 5 11 59 32 5 S||11 59 13 5 123 D DAY OF MONTH. ESSA DAY OF WEEK. Shadow at the noon-mark. 29 7 54m 7 42m BOSTON, ROCHESTER, DETROIT, MILWAUKIE. BUN RISES. OUN MOON High W SETS. SETS. Y. YORK. 5 21 5 27 6 31 H. M H. M. H. M. II. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M H. M. H. M. H. M. 246 3511 53 4 19 5 26 6 33 11 59 2 29 5 286 31 morn 26 6 33 morn 28 6 29 296 28 5 30 6 26 14 T11 55 28 5 15 F11 55 75 16 S ||11 54 46 5 17 S 11 54 25 5 416 18 M11 54 4 5 436 19 T11 53 43 5 446 20 W11 53 22 5 456 21 T 11 53 11 5 22 F 11 52 405 23| S ||11 52 195 24 S 11 51 59 5 25 M 11 51 38 5 26 T11 51 18 5 27 W11 50 58 5 28 T 11 50 38 5 11 50 18 5 54 5 46 10 48 11 49 595 56 5 44 11 59 As GOOD AS IF IT WERE ESOP.-A mouse ranging about a brewery, happened to fall into a vat of beer, and appealed to a cat to help him out. The cat replied-"It is a foolish request; for as soon as I get you out I shall eat you." The mouse replied, that that fate would be better than to be drowned in beer. The cat lifted him out, but the fumes of the beer caused puss to sneeze, and the mouse took refuge in his hole. The cat called on the inouse to come out. "You, sir, did you not promise that I should eat you?" "Ah," replied the mouse, "but you know I was in liquor at the time." 8 19 11 16 5 525 50 8 59 11 51 5 525 50 53 5 18 9 52 ev.27 5 53 5 48 9 58 545 46 10 54 1 13 5 545 46 11 1 555 44 morn 2 11 5 555 45 morn SOME years since an Englishman, whose pronunciation was tinged with cockneyisms, was sent to preach to the benighted and wicked Hoosiers of the little village of Elkhart in Indiana, a tidy, vigorous borough, with a future before it. He thus commenced his discourseHin-abitants of Hel-kart, come to the halter." "DID you ever know such a mechanical genius as my son ?" said an old lady. "He has made a fiddle out of his own head, and he has wood enough for another." A LAZY fellow out west, spells Tennessee 10-a-c. 515 51 51 5 51 8 24 95 DENIES DAY OF WEEK. Shadow noon-mark. BOSTON, ROCHESTER, DETROIT, MILWAUKIE. NEW YORK, PHILADELPHIA, PITTSBURG, INDIANAPOLIS. BALTIMORE, CINCINNATI, ST. LOUIS, S. FRANCISCO. Morning. SUN RIBES. BUN SETS. MOON ВЕТА. High W BUN RISES. BUN BETS. MOON High W SETS. N. YORK. SUN BUN RISES. SETS. MOON SKTS. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M H. M. H. M. H. M. S11 49 39 INVENTIONS. The following will be found Pins first used in England.... useful by way of reference : Glass windows were first used in.....A.D. Chimneys in houses 1180 1252 First fire-engine invented.. 2 10 6 24 5 3 9 54 ev.146 22 5 610 1 2 57 6 265 211 9 1 2 6 235 5 11 14 3 53 6 27 5 1 morn 2 66 245 4 morn 0 23 3 346 25 5 2 0 27 1236 First steam-engine invented. 1649 1663 1290 First cotton planted in the United States... 1769 1299 Steam-engine improved by Watt.. 1302 Steam cotton-mill erected. 1767 1783 Paper first made from linen... Woollen cloth first made in England.. Watches made in Germany 1331 Stereotype printing invented in Scotland.. 1785 1410 Animal magnetism discovered by Mesmer. 1788 1440 Sabbath-school establ'd in Yorkshire, Eng. 1789 1477 Electro-magnetic telegraph by Morse inv.. 1832 1540 Daguerreotype process invented.. 1839 9 015 5 56 6 51 4 39) 1 18 7 16 524 38 2 23 8 23 53 4 37 3.30 9 16 54 4 36 4 39 9 56 5 52 10 37 574 34 sets 11 15 11| S ||11 44 116 40|4 42|10 | YOUNG AMERICA. My son," said a doating WHISTLING.-Speaking of bores, we can father, who was about taking his son into busi scarcely imagine one capable of inflicting more ness, what shall be the style of the new firm ?" twisting misery than an intolerable whistler. A 'Well, governor," said the one-and-twenty fite we can stand, when all the nation is "armei youth, looking up in the heavens to find an an-and equipped," &c., on training day, and a drum, swer, "I don't know; but suppose we have it with its lang, flang, flang, serves to drown its 'John H. Samplin & Father.'" screams; but to listen to a poor air, badly mur The old gentleman was struck with the origi-dered by a poorer pucker, we prefer death in nality of the idea, but could not adopt it. AN advocate the other day said he had two withe-ses in court in support of the use of his client, and they would be sure to speak he truth, for he had no opportunity of communicating with them! some easier if not quicker way. We always think of the French stage-driver, who, being very much annoyed by such a bore, suddenly turned upon him with "My frien, vat for you all time vissel! You loss your dog, eh ?" WORDS hurt more than blows. 54 4 38 5 37 55 4 38 6 35 564 37 7 43 04 35 morn 2 6 6 56 4 40 morn 24 35 0 38 |