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my own, and be my own miftrefs into the bargain."

"That you will not, my pert madam," replied I." In the first place, you have a very poor chance for the fums you mention ; and in the fecond, if you had it, you would be ten times more unfit to be your own mistress than you áre at prefent."

My fon now came in, and told us, in the way of converfation, that finding London rather an expenfive place, as there were so many things to be feen; he had taken care to lay a foundation for the increafe of his pocket-money, by purchafing a confiderable number of tickets and shares; adding, that when they came up prizes, they would more than fupply his neceffary demands. "And what are you to do, if they are all blanks?" replied I.

"O, that's impoffible," faid he; "I have infured most of them."

And pray, where did you get the money to do all this?" faid I.

"O, I borrowed it of my coufin: I know you will pay him for me."

"No, indeed," anfwered I.— "He may wait till they are drawn prizes; that is, till doom's-day; or put you into the King's-Bench to teach you more wit; to punish your foolish readiness to answer for other people."

To make fhort of my ftory, Sir, I found that my whole house had, during my walk into the city, been infected with the lotterymania,-(if I may be allowed the expreffion) from the head of it-(as I allow any wife to be during my abfence) down to my kitchen-maid and poft-boy, who have both pawned fome of their rags; the former to buy a thirty-fecond, and the latter a fix

my

ty-fourth fhare, that they might put themselves-according to their language-in fortune's way.

On taking notice of thefe fcandalous enormities in a nation, to an old friend of mine who dined with me, and teftifying my furprize at the infatuation of thofe who, with very little cafh in their power, should venture their all-nay, more than their own-in fpite of the chances against them;-he informed me, that the infatuation I wondered at, originated, in a great measure, from the lures thrown out by the keepers of Lottery Offices to draw in the ignorant and unwary."I know a poor hard-working man," continued he, "who borrowed money to buy a lotteryticket, and it came up a prize of 500/--The happy owner, almoft mad with joy, hurried to the office for the money, of which immediate payment had been promifed. To his extreme mortification, he not only found that the fellow who fold him his ticket was gone off, but that it was the property of another perfon, who had purchafed it before. This piece of VERY TRUE intelligence deprived him of the little reafon he had left, he died raving, and his wife and children were fent to the work-house.

Pretty doings thefe, Mr. Editor! -However, fuch doings operate upon me in fuch a manner, that I fhall trundle my whole family down into Cheshire before the week is out: they will, there, have time to calculate chances, and may build their caffles in the air, without cracking their brains, and injuring their pockets.--I fhall only regret my departure from London on my country's account: I fhall be forry to remove, when there is

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fo much bufinefs of the greateft confequence going forward; but if I ever bring my houthold to town again during the drawing of a lottery, I will give you leave to fay, that there is not a more egregious afs in England than Your humble Servant,

CHRIST. QUIDNUNC.

A Differtation on Almanacks; with the Plan of a New One for the Ufe of People of Fashion.

SIR,

A

MONG the numerous literary Advertisements in this month, many of the Almanack, for the approaching New-year make no fmall figure, though they are not of a large fize; and if the general utility of them is feriously confidered, they may rank with the most celebrated publications. They have all their feveral attractions for their feveral purchafers. To thofe of a poetical turn the Cambridge Sheet must be particularly acceptable, as the Nine Mufes have joined to drefs up the twelve Months in the newest Parnaffian fashion; and to this Sheet Vincent Wing's will be no contemptible fupplement, as the weather may now be known in it by poetical rules. By thofe who wish to keep their bodies in repair from January to December, the falutary rules laid down by Rider should be read with great care; and the Riddles in the Lady's and Gentleman's Diary will happily ferve to improve the minds of the two fexes, by taking them off from trifling fubjects, and fixing their attention upon matters of the last importance.With regard to

Poor Robin's Almanack, no high wayman fhould be without it, as there is included in it an approved method for restoring banged perfons to life; and Mr. Moore's Loyal Almanack is a very proper pocketcompanion for every country-gentleman in the kingdom, efpecially as he has now added" obfervations on ploughs."

However, though all thefe annual productions, published by the fagacious body of Philomaths, and Aurologers, have their intrinfic merits there is not one, in my opinion, among the great variety of Almanacks contrived for the

ufe of people of fashion. I have refolved, therefore, to remedy this defect, by publishing one every year under the title of the St. James's Calendar.

The plan which has hitherto been followed by our Almanack-makers, can be of no use whatever to the polite world, who are as widely feparated in their manner of living from the common herd of people, as the inhabitants of Otaheite. To

know the exact rifing and fetting of the fun may ferve to direct the vulgar tradefman and mechanic when to open fhop, or go to work; but perfons of fashion, whofe hours are not marked by the course of that luminary, are indifferent about its motions and, like thofe who live under the Equinoctial Line, have their days and nights of an equal degree of length all the year round. The Red letter days, pointed out in our common Almanacks, may, perhaps, be obferved by fome formal ladies, who regulate their going to church by them; but people of quality perceive no difference between the moveable or immoveable Feafts or Fafts, and know no

ufe

ufe of Sunday, but as it ferves to call them to the card-table. What advantage can a fmart fellow reap from Rider's lift of Fairs, which can only be of service to his groom? Or what ufe can any gentleman or lady make of thofe Diaries now infcribed to them, which are filled with algebra and mathematics? In a word, the prefent uncouth way of dividing the months into faints days, Sundays, and the like, is no more adapted to the prefent modes of polite life, than the Roman Ides, Nones, and Calends.

Inftead of fuppofing, with the vulgar tribe of Aftronomers, that the day begins at fun-rife; my day, commencing at the time that it ufually breaks into fashionable apartments, will be determined by the rifing of people of quality. Thus the morning dawns with early rifers between eleven and twelve, and noon commences at fourwhen, at this time of the year, the dinner and wax-lights come in together. For want of a thorough knowledge of the diftribution of the day, all who have any connection with the polite world may be guilty of many mistakes: when an honest man from the Minories intends a nobleman a vifit after din ner, he may perhaps find him fipping his morning chocolate. The inconveniences of the Old Style in our manner of reckoning the days were fo manifeft, that it was thought proper to amend them by an act of Parliament. I am refolved, in like manner, to introduce the new ftyle of dividing the hours into my Almanack; for can any thing be more abfurd than to fix the name of morning, noon, and evening, at prefent, on the fame hours which bore thofe appellations in the reign

of Queen Elizabeth? A duchess is fo far from dining at eleven, that it often happens that her grace has not then opened her eyes on the tea-table; and a maid of honour would no more rife at fix in the morning, as it was called by the dames of Queen Befs's court, than fhe would, in imitation of those dames, breakfast upon ftrong beer and beef-fteaks. In those houses, indeed, where the hours of quality are obferved by one part of the family, the impolite irregularity of the other, in adhering to the Old Style, often occafions great disturbance; for, as Lady Townly fays,

"fuch a houfe is worse than an inn with ten ftage-coaches. What between the impertinent people of bufinefs in a morning, and the intolerable thick shoes of footmen at heon, one has not a wink of fleep all night."

The reformation which I have alfo made in refpect to the red-letter days, is no lefs confiderable. I have not only expunged that immenfe catalogue of faints which croud the Popish calendar, but have blotted out all the other faints that still retain their places in our common almanacks; well knowing, that perfons of fashion pay as little attention to the apoftles and evangelis, as to St. Mildred, St. Bridget, or St. Winifrid. I retain, indeed, the name of St. John, bes caufe I am fure that people of quality will not think of any body's being defigned under that title, except the late Lord Bolingbroke.

Having thus difcarded the faints people whom nobody knows, I have taken care to introduce my read ers into the best company; for the red letters in my calendar will ferve to diftinguifh thofe days on

which the ladies of the first fashion keep their routes and vifiting-days; a work of infinite ufe, as well to perfons of diftinction themselves, as to all those who have any intercourfe with the polite world. The feafon of the year, commonly dif. tinguished by the appellation of Lent, which implies a time of fafting, I fhall confider, according to its real fignification in the beaumonde, as a yearly festival; and fhall, therefore, mention it under the denomination of the Carnival. The propriety of this will be evident at first fight; fince nothing is fo plain, as that at this feafon all kinds of diverfion and jollity are at their height in this metropolis. Inftead of the man in the almanack, I at first intended to delineate the figure of a fine gentleman drest au dernier gout; but I was at length determined to fuffer the old picture to remain there: as it appears to be run through the body in feveral places, it may not improperly represent that fashionable character

a DUELLIST.

In the place which is allotted in other almanacks for the change of

weather, (as hail, froft, fnow, cloudy, and the like) I fhall fer down the change of drefs appropriated to different feafons, and ranged under the titles of hats, bonnets, facks, jefuits, brunfwicks, polonefes, muffs, &c. and in a parallel column I shall point out the feveral parts of the body affected by thefe changes; fuch as, head, neck, breast, shoulders, face, hands, feet, legs, &c.; and as Mr. Rider accompanies every month with feasonable cautions about fowing turneps, raifing cabbages, bloodletting, and the like important articles, I fhall give fuch directions as are moft fuitable to the fashionable world. Prefuming upon the fuperiority of my new plan,

Thy works, O Wing, O Partridge, I defpife; And Robin's for the poor, and Rider's for

the wife.

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VOL. XVIII. 1775,

POETRY.

POETRY.

ODE for bis MAJESTY'S BIRTH-DAY, the 4th June, 1775.

By Mr. WHITEHEAD, Poet Laureat.

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