another his "Tantalorum Tibby," as recorded of Mr. Mantalini; and yet here are, as authentically proved, people silly enough to use expressions equally ridiculous, and, apparently, other people equally gratified at being so addressed. Let us be comforted with the assurance that such extreme weaknesses are not universal.

9. Well-expressed Letters.-To the well-regulated mind and the welleducated hand, worthy of the love by which real love letters are inspired, the composition thereof is an improving exercise of the noblest expressions of genuine sentiments of the highest order.

10. Preliminary Exercises. Where courtship, or a desire to enter upon acceptable courtship, springs from strong and irrepressible emotions, it is scarcely possible for it to be free from doubts and fears, that need solution by means of bringing them to the test of acceptance or refusal; and, however much one may prefer negotiations of a strictly personal character, it is by no means bad policy to prepare the way by such a letter as may suffice for its purpose, without committing either the writer or the receiver to anything more; and nothing is better than a simple request for an interview, as thus:

"Dear Miss Merton,-I write for the purpose of requesting that you will favour me with an appointment for an interview, at which I very earnestly desire to secure your approval of what I desire to communicate. I await your reply with feelings of anxiety, which I

trust you will mitigate by avoiding delay.—Yours most faithfully,

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12. Foolish Concession. - Any lady receiving the first-quoted letter would lay herself open to the charge of lack of perception if she failed to discover the motive, and she would be equally chargeable with folly or trifling if she granted the interview with the foregone determination to refuse any consequent proposal. There is enough evidence to convince us that trifling of that sort is sometimes indulged in, and to some there may appear no harm in it; but there is mischief lurking in folly of that kind, which may not unlikely bring punishment of unex pected severity, that may well be shrunk from.

13. Reciprocal Sentiments.When the receiver of the first-named letter is favourably disposed towards the writer, she may, if there is no known objection to such a course, write a letter to the following effect :

"Dear Mr. --In reply to your letter, I write to inform you that I shall be at home to-morrow from

to

truly,

, or shall walk in the park from to to-morrow evening.-Yours

14. Offers of Marriage. — Reasonable discretion should generally suffice to prevent anyone from making an offer of marriage in writing. There may be circumstances where it is unavoidable, but they must be extremely rare. If a forlorn swain has succeeded suggested by the foregoing letters, he in securing an interview such as is

must, with such a forecast of a favourable reception, be very faint-hearted if he cannot win the fair lady on such a favourable occasion. Should he feel too nervous for personal explanations at such a meeting, it is but a poor recommendation, and should he, after becoming conscious of such a sense of personal incompetence, venture to commit himself upon paper, he not only risks contemptuous rejection, but the prospect of having his letter handed round

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21. The Lover's Despair. Where an attempt or desire to form a matrimonial engagement has failed, there is perhaps a universal tendency at first to regard one's future existence as an incurably blighted life. There can be no doubt that the social isolation of some families and many individuals, unhealthily contributes to such despairing sentiments. Parents and relatives should have some regard for these inevitable passages of experience, and should, from such a point of view, relax those tendencies to exclusiveness of intercourse that prevail in some quarters. Reasonable checks upon indiscriminate acquaintanceship are, of course, essential, but to carry them to extremes is equally unwise and unfeeling, and where life in such circumstances is overtaken by a disappointment in love, the most disastrous consequences may result.

22. Becoming Fortitude.-As for individuals, upon whom disappointment in love has severely fallen, a considerable amount of temporary depression

may be pardonable, and may even be worthy of sincere sympathy; but to allow future prospects to be obscured by such a cloud for any lengthened pericd is unworthy and reprehensible. Unfortunately the ideas of plighted faith and broken hearts derive injurious encouragement from many poems and novels, that are too obviously designed to play upon and make capital out of the unwholesome sentiments of love sick people, who, on the contrary, requirc the nonsense shaken out of them by an unsparing hand coming from a very different quarter. Anything like despair of the future for such a cause is contemptible childishness, only to be compared to a peevish baby, crying and puling because it cannot have the moon. Let it be remembered that that moon will decline and be succeeded by another, the emblem of perpetual renewal of beauty, virtue, and worth; in all time, and in all people; ever changeful, yet the same; bounteous of good in all ages for those who wisely adapt themselves to its various phases: and such is not so bad a similitude of the course of love. Change of scene, the active engagements of life, wholesome interest in elevating amusements and public affairs, constitute the best antidotes when love is an infliction, and the best promise of its renewal under more encouraging circumstances.

23. Exchange of Letters. Where letters have passed during an abortive courtship, it is generally not advisable or fair to keep them, but it is not judicious to return them, unles there is an exchange. Cases have been disclosed where one of the parties has returned letters, but has failed, on request, to obtain the letters from the other side, which have been subseavoid such a painful contingency, the quently used against the writer. only way is to secure the services of a trusted friend to make a formal exchange of letters at a personal interview. This requires to be done with tact, because, where a letter or two of more than ordinary importance has been written, the possessor may be

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24. Renewed Addresses.-In the generality of cases, where an offer has been refused, or where a courtship has been broken off, it is better to dismiss all ideas of renewal of efforts in the same quarter. It is better for both parties that there should be no attempt to repeat scenes that can scarcely fail to be painful in an aggravated degree. It is equally kind and courageous to cut the knot without hesitation and without remorse, and to turn to other fields of conquest; but it is not invariably so. It is often impossible to state the precise motive for the refusal of an offer. In love, as in other respects, still waters run deep, and though so much as a ripple may be neither seen nor felt, there may be hidden elements of hope that need only time for their disclosure. Even in the refusal of an offer, therefore, there may be a word, or a look, or a gesture on one side or the other, not artificially put on, but arising spontaneously, that may be a jewel of price, worthy of remembrance. Wherever there is any ground for such a remembrance, and philosophy enough to remember it calmly, a year and a day may bring new inspirations, possibly remove some unsuspected obstacle, and make it possible to reverse the original decision. Amongst the happiest are those with whom it is so.

25. Lovers' Presents. The giving of presents, especially when repeated, may usually be interpreted as covert courtship, where such has not been openly avowed, and the acceptance may generally be interpreted into favourable encouragement; especially when more than one is received with evident satisfaction. It is probable that some of the most successful courtships have had their way paved with judicious presents; and when they are given with good taste and accepted in like manner, there can be no better medium for arriving at a good understanding. Presents are, indeed, amongst the items of the silent language of love,

aright where the sentiment is genuine and mutual.

26. The Engagement Ring.The most decisive of all evidences is the offer and acceptance of the engagement ring, a genial custom that has grown of late years, and is worthy to grow still more. Any ring not resembling a wedding ring is suitable. The most conspicuous is a gold serpent-like coil, set with precious stones in place of eyes. It is worn on the wedding finger, and of course cannot be so worn unless the recognition of the courtship is fully disclosed to relatives and friends. It is, of course, an act of great temerity to wear it where there is doubt of approval; but, in some cases, it may be adopted for the express purpose of provoking inquiries that may lead to desired explanations not otherwise easily initiated.

27. Refusal of Presents.-As a matter of policy, a lover cannot apply a better test than the offer of a present, for, while its acceptance is good ground for encouragement, its refusal may generally be considered as a solving of the problem adversely, especially if it be refused with emphasis.

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28. Return of Presents.-In a certain sense presents, during or preliminary to courtship, may be regarded as hostages of love. While their offer, acceptance, and retention is generally almost a guarantee of satisfactory progress, they are weapons in reserve should it become necessary to use them; for, of all modes of breaking off a courtship, none can be considered effectual and final than the return of presents, and the return of an engagement ring is the sum of all conclusive evidences of irreparable defeat. Consequently, presents should not be returned except under circumstances of the gravest character, and after the fullest deliberation. To return them hastily, without at least a day's and a night's reflection, can scarcely be other than unpardonable rashness. Let it be considered that facts, at first appearing

much paler tints, or disappear altogether. In illustration of this there are no more eloquent suggestions than those of the time-honoured play of "Othello," and the less ancient but not less forcible one for its purpose of "The Wife's Secret," so graphically portrayed by the late Charles Kean and his wife.

29. Accepted Addresses.-Although addresses may be accepted, it is well for those who can fully recognize the fact that courtship, even when received with favour, is not of necessity a binding engagement. It is the wiser course to regard it as only on trial, but wisdom is not the common gift of such times; for it is only too true that the lover and the lunatic are very nearly allied, the only difficulty being to decide whether the lunacy can be justified by the object of it.

30. Engaged. Some may imagine themselves engaged when they are not. Let the infatuation of Charity Pecksniff be a warning. A proposal of marriage, to be legally binding, must generally be in words, either written or spoken, and witnessed; but an acceptance need not be written or spoken. It is supposed to be taken for granted, and so silence, accompanied by a course of conduct consistent with acceptance, is legally a con

sent.

31. Length of Courtship.-The folly of going into extremes may be vividly illustrated in a courtship. To marry in haste and repent at leisure is one of the courses concerning which words of warning have lurked around proverbial philosophy time out of mind. But the contrary course is scarcely less unwise. Preposterously hasty marriages are too self-evidently silly to need much warning about them, but long engagements may be attended by evils of equal gravity. A silent attachment, continuing for years, and brought to a climax by mutual acknowledgments, are better followed, if possible, by speedy marriages, and of such

in some sense, be called long engagements that are unobjectionable. On the contrary, when a marriage has been agreed upon and regarded as an engagement for an extended period, and marriage is deferred beyond a reasonable length of time, such a course may be the sacrifice of the present to the future in a degree not justified by any Cases may be probable advantage.

quoted where one of the parties has beenergy, unfitted morally and physiocome impaired in health, enfeebled in logically for marriage; and cases could be quoted where this has happened to both of the parties.

32. Who may Marry, and Who may not.-Cousins of sufficient age, in any degree, are legally at liberty to marry, but all other relations, halfrelations, step-relations, and relations in law, are forbidden to marry, cannot be legally married in this country, and any form of marriage between such relationships is legally void. With the consent of parents and guardians, any boy of fourteen years and any girl of twelve years, who is not barred by relationship, may marry. The first marriage of any person under twentyone, without the knowledge of the parents or guardians of such persons, can only be procured by a false declaration. If only one of the parties is aware of any falsity, and abides by the marriage, it is valid, but it is voidable by proceedings of such person. If the falsity is known to both of the parties, the marriage is void in perpetuity, though there is reason to believe that many such marriages hold good by under twenty-one, and all persons excommon repute. Widowers and widows ceeding twenty-one, not being otherwise disqualified, are free to marry without the consent of parents or guardians.

33. Power of Parents and Guardians. The parents or guardians, or either of them, are entitled to stop proceedings for a marriage or the marriage ceremony of any bachelor or spinster under twenty-one (to which they have