"This kind of course much profit doth them draw·
Their purple and their jewels sell their law;
So needful 'tis with greater voice to live,

And greater show, that men large Fees may give."

The following verses, translated from Latin, were presented to learned King James in Bacon's time, and gained at his royal hands the poor delayed suitor the quick despatch of his cause:

"Thy great Seales, faithfull Keeper, thou dids't send
Vnto (great King) my honest cause to end:

My Cause he well decreed, but Seale still lackes;
So had I Honey, but without the Wax:

Grant me (my Liege) in favour of my case,

T' enjoy the whole Hive of your Princely Grace."

"The Satyricall Poet" complains of the corruption of lawyers in his time :

"If my unhonest Neighbour seize my Lands,
And Fields of my Forefathers to his hands,
Dig up the sacred Mere-stone, th' ancient Bound
Of mine inheritance, and Grand-sires Ground,
Whereon with Pulse and hallow'd Wafer Cake,
A yearly Sacrifice I wont to make;

Or being my Debtor, though damnably
Forswear the Debt, or payment mee deny,
Vowing the Bill under his hand and Seal
Is-Counterfeit, not worth a cockle-shell,
Yet I am forced to stay a year from hence,
Till Time the People's Common Pleas commence;
When that time comes, I then must all's abide
A thousand trifling put off tricks beside."

This, I think, is imitated from Martial :

"Get thee to Gallia or to Africa,

The nurse of Lawyers, if thee list to lay

Thy Tongue to pawn, and plead for muckle meed,
And hire out thy voice at a good price indeed."

Epitaph on the gravestone of an attorney in St. Pancras churchyard :

"Here lieth one, deny it if you can,

Who, though a lawyer, was an honest man:
The gates of heav'n to him are open wide,
But shut, alas! to all the tribe beside."

An imitation :

"Entomb'd within this vault a Lawyer lies,
Who Fame assureth us was just and wise,
An able advocate, and honest too:

That's wondrous strange indeed—if it be true."

Another epitaph :

"Hic jacet Jacobus Straw,

Who forty years follow'd the law;

And when he dy'd,

The Devil cry'd,

Jemmy, give us your paw."

On an insolvent barrister :

"Without effect is nolo pros.

How happens this? cries one, and pauses:
His palm no fees were known to cross;

Effects can only spring from causes.”

Proposed inscription for the Inner-Temple Gate, Lon

don:

"As by the Templars' holds you go,

The horse and lamb displayed,

In emblematic figures show
The merits of their trade,

That clients may infer from thence
How just is their profession :
The lamb sets forth their innocence,
The horse their expedition.

O happy Britons! happy isle!
Let foreign nations say:
Where they get justice without guile,
And law without delay."

Answer to the above:

"Deluded men, these holds forego,
Nor trust such cunning elves:
These artful emblems tend to show
Their clients, not themselves.

'Tis all a trick, these all are shams,
By which they mean to cheat you;
But have a care, for you're the lambs,
And they the wolves that eat you.

Nor let the thoughts of no delay
To these their courts invite you:
'Tis you're the showy horse, and they
The jockeys that will ride you."

This has been better thus expressed :
"Your clients speciously you've plied,
But time will soon impress 'em:
The horse denotes you mean to ride,

The lamb you mean to fleece 'em."

Pickwickian quarrels : —

"Two lawyers, when a knotty cause was o'er, Shook hands, and were as friendly as before: 'Zounds!' said the client, I would fain know how You can be friends, who were such foes just now?' 'Thou fool!' said one, 'we lawyers, though so keen, Like shears, ne'er cut ourselves, but what's between!""

An attorney's heir: —

"The father took it of the Devil, and then
Gave it his son -to send it back again."

A country quarter-sessions, - Swift:

"Three or four parsons full of October;

Three or four squires, between drunk and sober;
Three or four lawyers; three or four liars;
Three or four constables; three or four criers;
Three or four parishes, bringing appeals;
Three or four writings, and three or four seals;
Three or four bastards, and three or four whores;
Tag, rag, and bobtail, three or four scores;
Three or four statutes misunderstood;

Three or four paupers, all praying for food;
Three or four roads that never were mended;
Three or four scolds, and the sessions are ended."

"How comes it that Quibus should pass for a wit? He sold what he spoke, and he bought what he writ."

By Lord Neaves :

"We grease the axle that it may not creak:

We grease the lawyer's palm to make him speak."

Advantage of Impecuniosity:

"Clients returning, before thieves may sing;

For back from London they can't money bring."

The Consequences of the Fall:

"From Adam's fall behold what sad disasters!
Both us and ours it sells to various masters,
Our souls to Priests, our body to the Doctors,
Our lands and goods to Pleaders and to Proctors."

By Furetière. On a statue of Justice removed into the market-place :

"Q. Tell me why Justice meets our eye,

Raised in the market-place on high? A. The reason, friend, may soon be told: 'Tis meant to show she's to be sold."

By Guillaume des Autelz:

“Blindfold is Justice drawn, for this,
To show she's random, hit or miss;
A sword she bears, - bugbear for those
Sans wit or wealth to ward its blows;
The pair of scales she's made to hold
Makes sure that all she gets is sterling gold."

From Baraton:

"Call silence!' the Judge to the officer cries:

'This hub-hub and talk, will it never be done? Those people this morning have made such a noise, We've decided ten causes without hearing one.""

On the Law of Libel: :

"Our statesmen all boast that in matters of treason,
The law of old England is founded on reason;
But they own that when libel comes under its paw,
It is rarely indeed that there's reason in law."

"You may say certain spades are black,

And you may call a spade a spade;