"I saw

and was over your head in an instant. In 1611 was published in 4to., "Tarlton's Jests, drawn into Three Parts: his court-witty Jests; his sound-city Jests; his country-pretty Jests; full of delight, wit, and honest mirth." This volume is of most extraordinary rarity, and has never been reprinted. In the title-page is a woodcut of the inimitable droll in his clown's dress, playing on his pipe with one hand, and beat. ing his drum with the other. In Tarlton's News out of Purgatory, the ancient dress appropriated to that character is thus described. one attired in russet, with a buttoned cap on his head, a bag by his side, and a strong bat in his hand; so artificially attired for a clowne, as I began to call Tarlton's woonted shape to remembrance;" and in Chettle's Kind-Hart's Dreame, (1592), “The next, by his suit of russet, his buttoned cap, his taber, his standing on the toe, and other tricks, I knew to be either the body or resemblance of Tarlton, who living, for his pleasant conceits, was of all men liked, and dying, for mirth left not his like." This print is characteristic and spirited, and bears the strongest marks of personal identity. His flat nose is as capitally depicted, as was his defence of it, when some country wag threw up his "Theame," after the following fashion :

*

"Tarlton, I am one of thy friends, and none of thy foes,
Then I prethee tell me how cam'st by thy flat nose :

Had I beene present at that time on those banks,

I would have laid my short sword over his long shankes."

To which polite interrogatory, the undumpisher of Queen Elizabeth made this tart reply :

"Friend or foe, if thou wilt needs know, marke me well,

With parting dogs and bears, then by the ears, this chance fell:
But what of that? though my nose be flat, my credit for to save,
Yet very well I can, by the smell, scent an honest man from a knave."

It was the scandal of the time, that Tarlton owned not his nasal peculiarity to the Bruins of Paris-garden, but to another encounter that might have had something to do with making his wife Kate the shrew she was. It would seem, however, that she returned the compliment, for on his passage from Southampton, when, during a storm, the captain charged every man to throw the heaviest thing he could best spare into the water, Tarlton offered to throw his lady overboard, but the passengers rescued her and being asked wherefore he meant so to do, he answered, She is the heaviest thing I have, and I can best spare her!"

Once, while he was performing at the Bull in Bishopsgate-street, where the queen's servants often played, a fellow in the gallery, whom he had galled by a sharp retort, threw an apple at him, † which hit him on the cheek: Tarlton, taking the apple, and advancing to the front of the stage, made this jest :

* Of the original we speak, which Caulfield sold to Mr. Townley, for ten guineas! This identical print, with the Jests, now lies before us. Caulfield's copy is utterly worthless.

+ Tom Weston, of facetious memory, received a similar compliment from an orange. Tom took it up very gravely, pretended to examine it particularly, and advancing to the foot-lights, exclaimed, "Humph! this is not a Seville (civil) orange." On reference to Polly Peachem's Jests (1728) the same bon-mot is given to Wilks.

"Gentlemen, this follow, with his face of mapple,*
Instead of a pippin, hath throwne me an apple ;
But as for an apple, he hath cast me a crab,

So, instead of an honest woman, God hath sent him a drab."

The people laughed heartily, for he had a queane to his wife.

Gabriel Harvey, in his "Four Letters and certain Sonnets," 1592, speaking of Tarlton's "famous play" (of which no copy is known) called "The Seven Deadly Sins," says, "which most deadly, but lively playe, I might have seen in London, and was verie gently invited thereunto at Oxford by Tarlton himselfe; of whom I merrily demanding, which of the seaven was his own deadlie sinne? he bluntly answered after this manner, the sinne of other gentlemen, letchery!" Ben Jonson's Induction to his Bartholomew Fair, makes the stage-player speak thus: "I have kept the stage in Master Tarlton's time, I thank Ho! an' that man had lived to play in Bartholomew Fair, you should ha' seen him ha' come in, and ha' been cozened i' the cloth† quarter so finely!"

my stars.

"There was one Banks (in the time of Tarlton) who served the Earle of Essex and had a horse of strange qualities: and being at the Cross-keyes in Gracious-street, getting money with him, as he was mightily resorted to; Tarlton, then (with his fellowes) playing at the Bell by, (should not this be the Bull in Bishopsgate-street?) came into the Crosse-keyes (amongst many people) to see fashions: which Banks perceiving, (to make the people laugh,) saies 'Signor,' (to his horse,) go fetch me the veryest foole in the company.' The jade comes imme. diately, and with his mouth draws Tarlton forth. Tarlton (with merry words) said nothing but God a mercy, horse!' In the end Tarlton, seeing the people laugh so, was angry inwardly, and said, 'Sir, had I power of your horse, as you have, I would doe more than that.' 'Whate'er it be,' said Banks, (to please him,) I will charge him to do it.' 'Then,' saies Tarlton, charge him to bring me the veriest wh-emaster in the company.' 'He shall,' (saies Banks,) Signor,' (saies he) 'bring Master Tarlton the veriest wh-e-master in the company.' The horse leads his master to him. • Then God a mercy, horse, indeed!' saies Tarlton. The people had much ado to keep peace; but Banks and Tarlton had like to have squared, and the horse by to give aime. But ever after it was a by-word thorow London, God a mercy, horse!' and is to this day."

"Tarlton, (as other gentlemen used,) at the first coming up of tobacco, did take it more for fashion's sake than otherwise, and being in a roome, set between two men overcome with wine, and they never seeing the like, wondered at it; and seeing the vapour come out of Tarlton's nose, cried out, Fire! fire! and then threw a cup of wine in Tarlton's face." With a little variation, Sir Walter Raleigh is reported to have been so treated by his servant. There are some curious old tobacco papers extant representing the fact. It was a jug of beer, not a cup of wine.

"Tarlton being at the court all night, in the morning he met a great courtier coming from his chamber, who, espying Tarlton, said, 'Good

* Mapple means rough and carbuncled. Ben Jonson describes his own face as rocky: the bark of the maple being uncommonly rough, and the grain of one of the sorts of the tree, as Evelyn expresses it, " undulated and crisped into a va riety of curls."

+ Cloth Fair, where the principal theatrical booths were erected.

morrow, Mr. Didimus and Tridimus.' Tarlton being somewhat abashed, not knowing the meaning thereof, said, 'Sir, I understand you not; expound, I pray you.' Quoth the courtier, Didimus and Tridimus are fool and knave.' 'You overload me,' replied Tarlton, 'for my back cannot bear both; therefore take you the one, and I will take the other; take you the knave, and I will carry the fool with me.' And again ; there was a nobleman that asked Tarlton what he thought of soldiers in time of peace? Marry,' quoth he, 'they are like chimneys in summer.'' Tom Brown has stolen this simile.

6

"Tarlton, who at that time kept a tavern in Gracechurch-street, made the celebrated Robert Armin* his adopted son, on the occasion of the boy (who was then servant to a goldsmith in Lombard-street) displaying that ready wit, for which Tarlton himself was so renowned. "A wagge thou art, none can prevent thee;

And thy desert shall content thee:

Let me divine: as I am,

So in time thou'lt be the same:

My adopted sonne therefore be,

To enjoy my clowne's suit after me.

"And so it fell out. The boy reading this, loved Tarlton ever after, and fell in with his humour; and private practice brought him to public playing; and at this houre he performs the same, where at the Globe on the Bank-side men may see him."

Many other jokes are told of Tarlton; how, when he kept the sign of the Tabor, a tavern in Gracechurch-street, being chosen scavenger, he neglected his duty, got complained of by the ward, shifted the blame to the raker, who transferred it to his horse, upon which he (Tarlton) sent the horse to the Compter, and the raker had to pay a fee for the redemption of his steed! And how he got his tavern bill paid, and a journey to London scot-free, by gathering his conceits together, and sending his boy to accuse him to the magistrates for a seminary priest! the innkeeper losing his time and his charges, besides getting well flouted into the bargain.

In the year 1588 Tarlton "shuffled off this mortal coil," and gave eternal pause to his merriments. 'Tis said he died penitent, (his crying sin was making other people laugh,) and was buried, September 3, in St. Leonard's, Shoreditch.

In the books of the Stationers' Company was licensed "A Sorrowful new Sonnette, intituled Tarlton's Recantation upon this Theame given him by a gentleman at the Bel Savage without Ludgate (now or els never) being the last Theame he songe; and Tarlton's repentance and his farewell to his friendes in his sickness, a little before his death." In "Wits' Bedlam," 1617, is the following epitaph on him :-

"Here within this sullen earth

Lies Dick Tarlton, Lord of Mirth;

* Robert Armin was a special droll, and a popular actor in Shakspeare's plays. He was associated with him and his fellowes" in the patent granted hy James I. to act at the Globe Theatre, and in any other part of the kingdom. He is the anthor of "The History of the Two Maids of More-clacke," 4to. 1609, in which he played Simple John in the hospital in a masterly manner. His "true effigie" appears in the title-page: as does that of Green (another contemporary actor of rare merit) in "Tu Quoque." He also wrote "A Nest of Ninnies," in which are many curious characteristic anecdotes and descriptions of Will Summers, and Will's contemporary fool, Jack Oates.

Who in his grave still laughing gapes,
Syth all clownes since have been his apes:
Earst he of clownes to learne still sought,
But now they learne of him they taught:
By art far past the principall,

The counterfeit is so worth all."

The following epitaph, quoted by Fuller,

"Hic situs est cujus poterat vox, actio, vultus,

Ex Heraclito reddere Democritum,"

is thus varied in Hackett's select and remarkable epitaph : "Hic situs est, cujus vultus, vox, actio posset

Ex," &c. &c.

Archibald Armstrong in no way disgraced his coat of motley; though the author of an epitaph on Will Summers speaks of his inferiority :

He was, like his two laughing predecessors, an attached and faithful servant, a fellow of arch simplicity and sprightly wit; and if he gave the public not quite so rich a taste of his quality as they did, let it be remembered that puritanism was stalking abroad, and that two religious (?) factions were fiercely contending for supremacy, and that neither relished a "merrie jest." It seems, however, that Archee, who had outwitted many, was, on one occasion, himself outwitted. Archee coming to a nobleman to give him good-morrow upon NewYear's day, he received a very gracious reward from him, twenty good pieces of gold in his hand. But the covetous foole, expecting (it seemes) a greater, shooke them in his fist, and said they were too light. The nobleman took it ill from him, but, dissembling his anger, said, 'I prithee, Archee, let mee see them again, for amongst them is one piece that I would be loath to part with.' Archee, supposing he would have added more unto them, delivered them back to my lord, who, putting 'em up in his pocket, said, Well, I once gave money into a foole's hand, who had not the wit to keep it.'"

Poor Archee was "unfrocked" for cracking an irreverend jest on Archbishop Laud, whose jealous power and tyrannical mode of exercising it could not bear the laughing reproof of even an "allowed fool.' "The briefe reason of Archee's banishment was this :- - A nobleman asking what he would doe with his handsome daughters, he * There are two rare portraits of Archee prefixed to different editions of his Jests: one by Cecil, 1657; and one by Gaywood, 1660. Under that by Cecil are inscribed the following lines:

"Archee, by kings and princes graced of late,
Jested himself into a fayer estate;

And in this booke doth to his friends commend
His jeeres, taunts, tales, which no man can offend."

And under that by Gaywood, the following :

"This is no Muckle John, nor Summers Will,
But here is Mirth drawn from the Muse's quill;
Doubt not (kinde reader), be but pleased to view
These witty jests: they are not ould, but new."

1

108

TWELFTH-NIGHT IMAGE-RY.

(Archee) replyed, he knew very well what to doe with them, but hee had sonnes, which he knew not well what to doe with; he would gladly make schollars of them, but that hee feared the arch-bishop would cut off their eares !''*

These were the three merry men of the olden time, who, by virtue of their office, spoke truth in jest to the royal ear, and gave homethrusts that would have cost a whole cabinet their heads. If their calling had no other redeeming quality but this, posterity would be bound to honour it.

TWELFTH-NIGHT IMAGE-RY.

BY JOYCE JOCUND.

COME, old fellow ! let's think o'er our juvenile days,
And dwell on those seasons of boyish delights,
When at pastry-cooks' windows together we'd gaze,

And wish the whole year was made up of "Twelfth-nights!"
What buffets we got!-oh! the kicks and the shakes
We received from the crowd-an unmannerly crew!
Who were not contented to look on the cakes,

But seeing the "CHARACTERS," wanted them too.

Still sweets would allure us, and pleasures enthral,
As many a glance to the dear ones we flung ;-
And "IMAGES" rose-oh! more gorge-ous than all
That painters e'er pencil'd, or poets e'er sung.

Say, do you remember those pantomime folks,
In clear sugar-candy, the "nicest of men?"
'Twas easy to fancy we heard the clown's jokes :

We have play'd many " tricks" and seen " changes" since then.

That ship, too, like us, that seem'd wanting a puff,

Though haply no wind could we raise 'mid the throng—

Our purses and persons were both short enough,

Yet objects so tempting made both of us long.

Then have you forgotten the mountain and stream,
That made so romantic a six inch retreat ?—

And the temple that haunted our youth's Twelfth-night dream,
As students we found not the "Temple" so-sweet?

When urchins, what warning from conscience we had,
How fathers might flog us, and mothers would scold.

Alas! though the man be more wise than the lad,
Sweet visions come seldomer as we grow old.

For time has flown o'er us with withering wings,
And life looks no longer all "couleur de rose."
We
We care not if Cupid were clipp'd of his wings;
Even Venus's doves are eclipsed by "Jem Crows!"

Archy's Dream, sometime jester to his majestie; but exiled the court by Canterburie's malice," 4to. 1641.