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Τ Η Ε.

POLITE MISCELLANY:

OR, A

COLLECTION of ESSAYS, MORAL, HUMOUROUS, and POLITICAL,

IN PROSE AND VERSE.

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The Hopes and Wishes of an honest Englisbman.

AY our paft offences, our usuries, our. briberies,

our Sunday card-playings, or our prostitutions,
our stock-jobbings, or our gamblings, be remem-
bered no more. May the DEITY, 'who hath

blessed us with victory, not be angry at our peace-offerings.

From being ill ufed by excisemen, from the crafts and assaults. of informers, from the terror of messengers, and fear of arbitrary power, I hope we shall be delivered.

From falfeness of heart, and the want of compassion, may our great gentlemen and ladies be preserved. And likewise from folly and Aattery, from contempt of merit and hatred of integrity, from buffoons, pimps, and insincerity.

May men of eftates be inspired with true taste and understanding, may humility be bestowed upon ladies of fortune, and may all our ministers be endued with righteousness.

More particularly I wish that the hands of the justices may be strengthened; that they may have it more in their power to administer mercy; and that they may have the due sense which they may want. May the soft dew of human nity .be fhed upon parish officers, that they may have fympathy to feel for others, and that distress may not so often die under their hands. VOL. I. B

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May it please heaven to preserve all the English people in their liberties, and to grant them hearts to love one another more, and themselves less; and to give them also grace, but not that grace which embellisheth dukedoms, nor the grace of canting hypocrites, but that real grace, that benignity of mind, that portion of understanding, capable to preserve them juft and free; and that they may have power to overcome all their enemies.

May truth be introduced among us.

May all those who are impoled upon be fuccoured; and the widows and orphans befriended, and the legislature infpired to examine the trustees accounts.

That gluttony may be extinguished from parish-meetings, fimony from the church, gaming from among men of honour, adultery weeded from matrimony; pettifogging from the courts of justice; and may all those who are in power have good hearts.

May decency not be drove out of the land, nor honesty permitted any more to be made a laughing-stock; and may integrity be preserved from all affaflinations.

From all the temptations of pimps, from all assaults of selffelling, may heaven deliver us.

1.

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Extracts from the King of Prussia's Campaigns, a new and

authentic book, lately publisbed at Berlin. HERE is an anecdote concerning the King (of Pruffia)

while at Glatz (in the year 1742,) which I cannot pass over in silence. Having certain information, that the Countess of Grunn, who was married to a Lieutenant-Colonel of the garrison, had vowed a fine suit of cloaths to the Madona 'of the Jesuits, in case the blockade of the town was soon raised, he bought as many yards of the finest stuff that could be found, as were necessary to make a large robe for the Virgin, and sent a message to the Gentlemen of the Society, acquainting them, That being informed of the fruitless vow the Countess had made, and knowing his men better than she, he did not intend that our Lady should be a lofer, and therefore offered her in reality what Madam de Grunn had promised her in vain. The Jesuits were charmed, and came, in great formality, to return his Majesty thanks; flattering themselves, perhaps, that this was a ftep towaruis his becoming their profelyte, ...

2. The

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2. The Hainacks, or Vallachians, are peasants, who inhabit the mountainous border between Hungary and Moravia ; they are very resolute, and live by plunder, even in time of the profoundest peace. They come down at times to ravage the flat country, where they take a particular pleasure in ransacking the country Clergymen, and, after having extorted from them fums in proportion to their abilities, they make them lay mass gratis, and then recommend to these poor Priests good deconomy, that they may be in a condition to pay the fame contribution next year. In their rejoicings and dances, which are very much of the grotesque kind, they fing a ballad, the burthen of which imports, That if they knew their children would not be as great robbers as their fathers, they would wring their necks about as soon as they were born.

3. As we are to stay to-day at Pohrlitz, I have time to insert in my letter a very diverting adventure, which I doubt not will give you some amusement. Colonel Fouquét, having entered Crem. fitz with fix companies of grenadiers, had placed a fentry on the wall, near the houfe of a Priest, or Curate. The good man, finding himself much disturbed by the frequent repetition of, Qui va la? that is, Who goes there? which the fentry pronounced with a loud voice, every quarter of an hour, resolved to make the foldiers weary of this post, and to this view contrived to mask himself like a devil; accordingly horns, claws, the ferpent's tail, cloven feet, and the fork, were got ready, and our Priest, having equipped himself to his own satisfaction, and like a real devil, began to act his part, by advancing towards the sentinel, and, at every step, scratching the wall with the fork.

The grenadier began to feel fome tremors, but did not leave his post. He stopped short, till the devil coming too near, and presenting the three points of his fork, cried out with hoarse voice, Thou shalt die by my hand; then the soldier got the better of his fears, and boldly cocked his musket. The fpectre heard the click of this fatal instrument, and of a sudden lofing all confidence in his fork and the whole of his apparatus, recoiled, and wanted to fave his honour by a flow retreat. The grenadier, on the contrary, having once made free with this imaginary devil, followed him close, and saw him 'enter the house of the Curate, by a little backdoor. Upon this he called to his assistance fome of his companions, who were not a great way off; and they coming readily to his relief, the door was quickly forced

open, and Belzebub fejzed with all his infernal habiliments, before

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he had time to put them off. As soon as he was taken, he was conducted to the nearest post, whence he was next day conveyed to the main-guard, and flogged like a poor devil, in the fight of the whole town, The Clergy made a great noise about this affair; but the Colonel giving them to understand, that the worthlefs Levite had, this impudent masquerade, insulted the garrison, and consequently all the King's troops, matters were made up in such a manner, that the poor Curate; was fhut up in a Convent to do penance, and the Clergy paid a fine of ninety ducats, of which each company had fifteen, to purchase them black fpatterdashes. Every body thought this adventure very diverting, and the soldiers said to one another, That the devil had taken pains to provide them with spatterdashes. 4. Chroudim, the capital of the circle of the fame name,

is a village of a moderate fize, ill built and not well situated, though it stands on a spot of ground very beautiful and fruitful. The little river. of Chroudimka washes the foot of it's walls; and there is nothing else remarkable about it, but a very handsome church, where they worship a miraculous image of our LORD. This image is a head admirably well painted by Lucas Kranach. It's miracles began in the time of the thirty years war. Some Swedish :: foldiers having carried it away from Chroudim, and not agreeing among themselves who should have it, resolved to play at dice for it; fortune was so irrefolute, that after playing several hours none of them could win it; therefore, in a great rage, they resolved to cut it in pieces; but at the first cut given it with the knife the pičture bled. This inspired them with such terror that they ran away and left it, and it was afterwards restored to its own church, where it is to be seen with its bloody.wounds in the face, and a multitude of offerings, which those who have been benefited by its miracles have brought from all quarters.

5. The Convent of Sedeletz, belonging to the Cistercian Order, which stands a short quarter of a mile from Kouttenberg, is worth seeing. There is in it a chapel of moderate fize, the inside and ornaments whereof are made wholly of the heads and bones of the dead; but with admi. rable order and dexterity The Monks tell you, That all those whose melancholy remains compose the infide of this chapel were Saints; that the earth on which the Convent stands is holy ground, which never destroys entirely the bodies of the blessed, but only consumes the flesh, and whitens the bones; whilst the bodies of the profane and

damned

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