VERSICLES OF BURNS. BURNS was much addicted through life to the enunciation of impromptu verses, in the form of epigrams and epitaphs, generally of a satiric character. Having provided himself in Edinburgh with a diamond suitable for writing on glass, he often scribbled these hasty productions on the windows of inns and taverns, thus gratifying the whim of the moment too often at the expense of prudence and self-respect. Dr Currie remarks, that the epigrams of Burns are strikingly inferior to his other writings, and few will be inclined to dissent from the opinion. They often, indeed, are totally without point, so that one wonders how they should have ever been committed to writing, much more that so many of them should have been printed by the author. In the present work, all of these versicles which are connected with the poet's biography are presented at their proper places: the remainder are here grouped together, with such prose annotation as seems necessary to illustrate them and give them significancy. EPITAPH FOR GAVIN HAMILTON. The poor man weeps-here Gavin sleeps, EPITAPH FOR ROBERT AIKEN, ESQ. Know thou, O stranger to the fame EPITAPH ON A CELEBRATED RULING ELDER. Here souter Hood in death does sleep To hell, if he's gane thither, He'll haud it weel thegither. money ON WEE JOHNNY.1 HIC JACET WEE JOHNNY. Whoe'er thou art, O reader, know It is curious that in a rare old work, Nuga Venales, sive The saurus ridendi et jocandi, &c., bearing date 1663, but no place or publisher's name, there is a Latin epigram turning upon exactly the same jest: 'Oh Deus omnipotens, vituli miserere Joannis, Quem mors præveniens non sinit esse bovem : Among Burns's acquaintance at Mauchline was a mason named James Humphry, who, if devoid of the genius of the poet, at least possessed equal flow of language, and a scarcely less remarkable gift for theological controversy. Burns and he had had many collisions on the subject of New Light, and it appears that the mason entertained somewhat strong views both as to the bard's heterodoxy and his morals. Burns, passing along the street of the village one evening, and seeing Humphry lounging at a corner, stopped for a moment, and asked him what news. 'Oh, nothing very particular on earth,' answered the polemic; 'but there's strange news from below.' 'Ah, what's that?' inquired Burns, opening his eyes pretty wide. 'Why, they say that the auld deil has died lately, and that when the imps met to elect a successor, they fell sadly by the ears. Some of them were for taking one of their own number; but others had heard that there was one Rob Burns upon earth, that was likely to make a much better deil, and it seems they are determined, if they can, to elect him!' The poet, though he could not have helped being 1 Mr John Wilson, the printer of his poems at Kilmarnock. amused with the insinuation, left Humphry with a pettish exclamation. He afterwards penned a quatrain on Humphry, which, it must be admitted, contains not merely less wit than his antagonist's story of the infernal election, but no wit at all: ON A NOISY POLEMIC. Below thir stanes lie Jamie's banes: O Death, it's my opinion, Thou ne'er took such a bleth'rin' bitch Into thy dark dominion! Humphry, nevertheless, lived to be in such poverty, as to be glad to claim being the subject of the satire of Burns, for the sake of the scraps of charity which it obtained for him.1 EPITAPH ON A HEN-PECKED COUNTRY SQUIRE. As Father Adam first was fooled, EPIGRAM ON SAID OCCASION. O Death, hadst thou but spared his life, We freely wad exchanged the wife, E'en as he is, cauld in his graff, The swap we yet will do't; exchange Poor Humphry latterly found shelter in one of a set of free cottages built at Blackhill, in Torbolton parish, by the late Mr Cooper of Smithston, enjoying at the same time a pension of 3s. a week from a fund left by the same benevolent gentleman. He died in 1844, at the age of eighty-six. To the last, he took a keen interest in matters pertaining to theological and ecclesiastical disputes. The parish minister called for him when he was near his end, and, after a prayer, took leave of him without any expectation of again seeing him in life. Humphry seemed to have something on his mind-he waved the minister back, and said: 'Man, what d'ye think o' the Frees?' Such, in the crisis of the Disruption, was the man who had battled with Burns on points respecting the New Light sixty years before. In his early days, he was a member of a dissenting congregation at Mauchline, and of course had seats in the meeting-house. He had often offended by his overfree life, and been warned: at length, energetic measures were determined on, and he was forbidden to approach the communion-table. Hereupon Humphry sent the bellman through the town, to proclaim Seats in the meeting-house to be had cheap-cheap-cheap as dirt-apply to James Humphry!' This gives some idea of the man. ANOTHER. One Queen Artemisia, as old stories tell, When deprived of her husband she loved so well, But Queen Netherplace, of a different complexion, TAM THE CHAPMAN. As Tam the Chapman on a day Weel pleased, he greets a wight sae famous, Death taks him hame to gie him quarters. Tam the Chapman was a person named Kennedy, whom Burns had known in boyhood, and whom he afterwards encountered as an itinerant merchant, when he found him a pleasant companion and estimable man. Tam, in old age, was known to William Cobbett, who printed these lines, either from a manuscript or from recollection. VERSES TO JOHN RANKINE. Ae day, as Death, that greusome carle, And mony a guilt-bespotted lad; grim VERSICLES. Without, at least, ae honest man, 239 ON MISS J. SCOTT, OF AYR. Oh, had each Scor of ancient times, THE BOOK-WORMS. 'Burns,' says Allan Cunningham, 'on a visit to a nobleman, was shewn into the library, where stood a Shakspeare, splendidly bound, but unread, and much worm-eaten. Long after the poet's death, some one happened to open, accidentally perhaps, the same neglected book, and found this epigram in the handwriting of Burns:' Through and through th' inspired leaves, |