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That bring to my remembrance from what state
55 By owing owes not, but still pays, at once Indebted and discharg'd; what burden then? O had his pow'rful destiny ordain'd Me some inferior Angel, I had stood Then happy; no unbounded hope had rais'd
60 Ambition. Yet why not? Some other Power As great might have aspir’d, and me though mean Drawn to his part; but other Pow'rs as great Fell not, but stand unshaken, from within Or from without, to all temptations arm’d. Hadst thou the same free will and pow'r to stand ? Thou hadst : whom hast thou then or what to' accuse,
But Heav'n's free love dealt equally to all ?
75 And in the lowest deep a lower deep Still threat'ning to devour me opens wide, To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heaven. O then at last relent : is there no place Left for repentance, none for pardon left ?
80 None left but by submission; and that word Disdain forbids me, and my dread of shame Among the Spi'rits beneath, whom I seduc'd With other promises and other vaunts Than to submit, boasting I could subdue Th’Omnipotent. Ay me, they little know How dearly I abide that boast so vain, Under what torments inwardly I groan, While they adore me on the throne of Hell. With diadem and sceptre high advanc'd,
90 The lower still I fall, only supreme In misery ; such joy ambition finds. But say I could repent and could obtain By act of grace my former state; how soon Would height recall high thoughts, how soon unsay 95 What feign'd submission swore ! ease would recant Vows made in pain, as violent and void.
For never can true reconcilement grow,
Thus while he spake, each passion dimm'd his face Thrice chang'd with pale, ire, envy, and despair ; IIS Which marr'd his borrow'd visage, and betray'd Him counterfeit, if any eye beheld. For heav'nly minds from such distempers foul Are ever clear. Whereof he soon aware, Each perturbation smooth'd with outward calm, Artificer of fraud ; and was the first That practis'd falsehood under saintly show, Deep malice to conceal, couch'd with revenge : Yet not enough had practis'd to deceive Uriel once warn'd; whose eye pursued him down 125 The way he went, and on th’ Assyrian mount Saw him disfigur’d, more than could befall